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Alcoholic cuz...you'll all love this
IP: 5797 CEB5
*Alcohlic Cuz*
Broken and twisted, he sits there alone shiverin, but it ain't from the cold tips the bottle back, takes 3 big gulps Alcohol's seems to have taken his soul lifes changed dramatically right before his eyes, he thought hey there's nothing wrong with partying everyday, every night who needs an education, he though to himself i can bum off my freindz till they'll no longer give handouts and when it comes to that my family won't turn there back cause bloodz thicker than anything except for that 6 pack Hey cuz gimme 10 bucks so i can get a 40 I said no, then he said but *CUZ*your my family you know i'd do it for you dawgg And you know i'll get you back I turned to him and passed him a 20 saying i better get it back even though in the back of head a voice said hey, that money's gone "G" you ain't never getting it back 1 years gone by still he drinks all by himself, his breath always reeks boooze his only salvation his welfare checks his grace cause it buys him his savior so he can feel safe can't go a day with out drinking now if he does cold turkey & sweats alcohol his only religion and he does so with no regrets...... |
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IP: 5153 3B92
DIS SHOWED PROMISE,WAZ A LIL SIMPLISTIC,BUT DA STORY BEHIND IT WAZ ON POINT,ID RECOMEND DAT U TRY N USE MO COMPLEX BARS,BUILD YO VOCAB UP,BUT GOOD ALL ROUND,1
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IP: 65D8 B366
Quote:
I agree... |
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IP: E7B0 2A4E
quote:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Black Magik quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by MOLOTV DIS SHOWED PROMISE,WAZ A LIL SIMPLISTIC,BUT DA STORY BEHIND IT WAZ ON POINT,ID RECOMEND DAT U TRY N USE MO COMPLEX BARS,BUILD YO VOCAB UP,BUT GOOD ALL ROUND,1 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I agree... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- me too... : ) |
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IP: 399E F0FD
I'll actually reply...
yo man, I don't think anyone has posted something like this before, your topic was good man, i was feeling the concept, pretty deep and original, but your wordplay man, your rhymes, they needed your... you had had better rhymes, stronger vocab, and made it a bit longer, this would have been an ill peace... I give you props on content alone dawg... should try to re-write it Peace |
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