Divorce is such a fad these days
No guarantees a girl will stay
Even the sweetest chic would get sick of me
A million voices on the TV
Say, "Don't take it, girl! Why don't you leave?"
So she splits 'cause I made her peeve
"You left the toilet seat up again
You know I hate it when you do that, Ben"
Even if I try my best to please
Maybe she'll get fed up with my ugly knees
Twenty years of covering for this slob
And I won't be as cute as the new heartthrob
"Here's the papers...I'm leaving now
Eww, your heart is bleeding...let me rip it out!
If you ever need anything just give me a shout
Like betrayal or rejection or fear and doubt"
Love is risk but I never win that game
I'm lonely but playing only leaves me lame
I limp enough as it is already
Marriage is a pile of seed confetti
Should I let it pass me by...or run me over like Andretti?