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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-13-03, 12:04 AM
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#1
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Guest
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a broke mans frustration
IP: 5153 3B92
i know i can be what i wanna be,
be b boys and girls listen up anything you wanna be in this world is set up and rigged and controlled by the hip some corporate exec waitin to bust your lip im here, to show, the truth about these bitches and how everything you do was done with switches buttons and movements in society are controlled by a constant major rivalry between truth and youth and president bush pocket book oil companies off the hook, gougin prices without a look you can shout a book and no one would notice a crook why am i strugglin for comfort while some fuck is in lumber 50 acre lot in ready for a long winter slumber woods and nothing around a million dollar estate and my daughters the one thatll be shifting me through probate probably collecting nothing after i escape, enter through the white safer gates and shes lifting through paper weights paying for college with funds made from a table servin coffee while some fat cats livin fables story book fantasies you and i can only dream of so i say lets team up, scheme up and kill these fuck with their own tea cups |
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03-13-03, 01:52 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: 1DC7 E10F
aight kidd let's see what we have here...
Quote:
Seems like you have that Nas joint flowing through your vains here, I won't comment on the comparison, just what I see here as if I haven't heard of the guy. The intro was good, you came out smooth, but at times cats don't carry that out and switch it up in the piece and at times can be a problem, basic rhymes at times ie. hip and lip, there are other words out there that can make your piece stand out and the flow twice as much acceptible. Quote:
The flow to your piece is nice, it can be done to any bouncy stutter type of beat, again the lack of orignial rhyme scheme is a bit of a disappointment, again with...bitches, switches, book, look, almost too elementary kidd, that did throw me off when I read through this piece, a bit too basic for me. Quote:
lack of internals lost that flow that I was feelin', the bars just seemed to go and fall off and not really make a dent as they normally should do, a nice piece, could use some work to make a bit better, addition of internals and more complex rhyme patterns, nice attmept kidd... love... |
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