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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-24-04, 09:22 AM
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#1
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Guest
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Expression
IP: 139F E278
Its only short but juss lookin fo a lil feedback/crit...
People say i have a hard time displayin my affection/ But do nuttin but complain when aggression hits tha surface of my expression/ My family thinks i'v fallen deep into depression/ I try to explain that state only hits when tha beam aint got much left in/ Wouldnt be half this bad if i still had a girl wit me nightly carresin/ Tho misinformed, my mind wasnt even slightly deformed/ My life meanings always been something unformed/ Even tho my hearts warm yet still remains battle-torn/ - 1d |
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01-24-04, 11:32 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: 139F E278
anyone got any feedback for me?
- 1d |
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01-24-04, 11:33 AM
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#3
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: C1DA C961
..get rid of the /..this is text not audio...fro your flow..it was okay..
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01-24-04, 11:51 PM
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#4
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Word.
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IP: DD10 0DFF
Yeah this was alright here.....the flow in this was alright, it stayed on point through out the piece i thought.....try to make your next piece a little longer but its ok....had some alright multies in there.....vocab was alright.....overall this was alright...keep at it.
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