All my surrounding peeps, dawg
they aint even trippin
but its my profound belief, yall
that Ive been really slippin

If you want me to conform to your religion
I need a little more than just a book and vision
only believe in things that I can see
nothing tangent in your book for me to believe

When you talk of the sins, the crucifix and pain
quick to blame women and lucifer in flames
capitalists like us are the ones to blame
i dont cast stones bcuz were all the same

Dont complain when a mans believe ceases
explain the definition of God and then explain diseases
In vain I maintain that there is injustice
refrain from the pain on your face im not black jesus

Im a preacher in my own mind
but really im a sick man
lopsided faces of the crime
and my betrayal werent planned

not a bad piece--I understand the movtive your throwing out but i feel there could have been a stronger backing to why you dont believe-- for such a strong concept the title would never sufice--overall nice piece keep postin

-1-

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

the title was too strong for the piece.
The writing was elementary and showed nothing impressive. You made yourself look ignorant and unintelligent by writing this the way you did, in such a skim fashion.
You shy away from detail... either because you can't use it or you don't know any and it shows.
This was unimpressive overall and your writing makes you look dumb for using such a title.... you do not back it up at all.

you need to improve.
but good luck with that.

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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.

"I need a little more than just a book and vision
only believe in things that I can see "

I don't really understand this part of it. You need more than a book and a vision, and you only believe in things you see? If you believe in the things you see why would you need more than a vision?

"explain the definition of God and then explain diseases"

God is Love. He wants to help you but if you don't believe there's nothing that can be done on His part.

Explain diseases? Well, if you've read the Bible, and you should have since you seem to be denouncing the religion, then you'd know about The Fall. The Fall was when Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree. Before that, they had a perfect relationship with God. After it, they were seperated. As we all are seperated from God in our sin. With The Fall came diseases, death, unbearable pain during birth. Diseases are around because of us, not God.

we could argue for weeks about tha way u see religion not to mention have evert1 say well over their 2 cents but i respect ur vision, good piece...

With The Fall came diseases, death, unbearable pain during birth. Diseases are around because of us, not God.

God is around because of us, not the other way around, but thats another thread. I thought it was O.K. but ya definitly need to be more detailed as to why you are down wit religion. keep up tho kat don't let a little fairy tale keep ya down, LOL na mean.

ya the title was like sounding like ure pissed and thats all, but ure poem really was understanding.It's a great poem man but choose ure titles wisely. Keep it up and peace out.

HEy return the favor of this vote ya'll and plz tell me waht i can improve on in my poem...title is For The Love Of The Mic...thx yall

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i feel ya man, don't let these brainwashed fools get you down. nice piece. are you agnostic or atheist?
i claim agnostic.
keep droppin, it has a good flow and nice vocab.
elevate.
--roux, the only straightedge in my crew

yo you dont have much room to talk man you cant even write your own shit---

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

^^ what ever no record man.

lol record yo man your ass should be kick out of here. I bet you steal other battles from other forms to get a record.

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Nobody2me, I noticed your sig and was wondering. When it says properly read, does that mean taken out of context?


Just wanted to mention a good site for maybe anyone actually interested in learning about religions.

Http://www.carm.org