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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-24-03, 03:03 AM
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#1
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That's Right...I'm White
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Love Ruined?
IP: F6C9 DE0B
why did you have to lead me on
only to have me find out somethin was wrong i said i liked you, you said you liked me now you got a boyfriend, you lied to me why don't you grow up, and mature i dunno if it's true, it's just what i heard my heart is sore, like it's been broke so i roll a joint, and take a toke opening a bottle, drinkin a beer making feelings and mind clear I'm just a homie, meant to be lonely before you run, get to know me i know i made you mad, even made you pissed maybe if you were nice, and stopped being a bitch i tried to be nice, tried to be friendly away from you, is where you sent me but i'll find out the truth before i judge i've never been one, to hold a grudge Just a little keystyle poem i did at 3 am.....doesn't make sense at time but oh well... uppin |
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09-24-03, 08:47 AM
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#2
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 608A 4341
pretty good...exspected better from you..but this game with a good emotional peice...rhyme was a little weak but flow was good, pretty good peice...keep it up
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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09-24-03, 05:24 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: 6B19 E604
i thought this was tight, nice vocab, rhyme scheme was a little off but its poetry so who cares, tha point got across, and the emotion was felt,all in all nice piece man,~1~
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09-25-03, 12:44 AM
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#4
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: 89EA 4020
yeh this was just a quick piece, didn't put much effort into it, but glad ya liked it for what it was
keep uppin |
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09-25-03, 01:00 PM
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#5
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Guest
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IP: CBC7 7A64
ummm.. its aigh
vocab is average, flow & structure r nice, i like how each stanza reviled more & more emotion as i read, i can really relate 2 this piece lol not in those exact words mind u, but i do  |
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09-25-03, 06:21 PM
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#6
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: A224 8426
no doubt
uppin Last edited by Krem : 09-26-03 at 01:36 AM. |
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09-26-03, 05:22 PM
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#7
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: A5E0 A6A4
uppin for last time
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09-28-03, 07:42 PM
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#8
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..A New Breed of Femcee..
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IP: 399E F0FD
Sup Krem...
This was simple, but I liked it..Good imagery, it made me think of this one specific guy I know..hmm, maybe Ill call him.. Good piece, esp for something done at 3am. Stay up! Pz. |
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09-28-03, 10:09 PM
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#9
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Guest
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IP: 09F2 53DE
Not a bad piece...coulda been better..coulda been alot worse.
Not a bad poem tho none tha less. i felt this poem to an extent good drop tho ~WoN~ |
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09-29-03, 04:40 PM
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#10
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: 1DB4 863E
this isn't directed towards.....well you know who you are....it' directed to a different girl....so ya
and thanks for all who posted feedback and what not peace |
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