RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-27-03, 07:59 AM   #1
prophiit
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
take offense

IP: 9B33 081B

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO THE FOLLOWING PIECE........THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE WRITER AND ARE NOT THE...........FUCK IT WHO CARES...........


i GOT pressure on my skull and weight on my BACK
smoke POT and refuse to lie down or speak with TACT
what type of shit do you somehow manage to ATTRACT
these faggots watch my BACK and THAT is a FACT
apparently ya'll feel there is some thing I LACK
the only BUDS i got came when i purchased a SACK
your missile is a DUD far from being ready for live CONTACT
so fuck a deal what do i need with a RAP CONTRACT?
i'm busy right now wiping the MAT with IRAQ
don't believe me? check my REAL TIME STATS
this ACT makes it hard, to make you, FEEL I'M BLACK
so with infinite SKILL i move with stealth and then ATTACK
and with and ILL WILL i devour emcees like a scooby SNACK

i don't like you and you don't like me
you don't want beef so just please let it be(4x)

style switch*
let me hold down the fort playing with a dead corpse
i've had paranoid thoughts of murdering steve forbes
a schizophrenic android on steroids with an affinity for morgues
so i'd suggest repenting ya sins and praying to the lord
cuz right now i'm more dangerous then minivans made by ford
i'll strangle you until it lacerates you and then lick the cord
you say to live by the gun i say die by my sword
half the bullshit i say is cuz i'm broke lonely and bored
also the reason i bore holes in the sides of my gourd
MUTHAFUCK BOTH YOU AND YOURS
change hip hop please i'm better off changing my sex
dropping a metal album and then say who's next
finally got my fucking head on straight by severing my neck
i rap to piss you off fuck trying to collect a check

i don't like you and you don't like me
you don't want beef so just please let it be(4x)

just fucking around ya'll
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-03, 08:17 AM   #2
pot1ent
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3F03 EF03

Okay Okay

...

DO NOT cap the words you want to stand out...ie..the rhymes...its unneccessary...

Your topic could've been original..but seemed like BLAH, As soon as i saw...I smoke pot...I hated it allready...just another internet thug instead of a writer

Try to aim to be a writer...writing with meaning

Good start to rb anyway...
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-03, 09:59 AM   #3
WORD~PERFECT
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 19AF 50C1

not bad but need refienment
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-03, 06:15 PM   #4
gotaloveforrap
Banned for being stupid
 
gotaloveforrap's Avatar
 
Posts: 497
Joined: Sep 2003
From: Phoenix, AZ
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 95C5 EAD6

i thought the post was ok. im wit pot1ent though, the pot line may have supposed to be the start, but it finished it for me. i thought the wordplay and vocab were pretty good, the topic was a little played, and the content was ok. overall u did pretty good, just keep workin at it, and ull elevate. good luck.

peace.....
Send a message via AIM to gotaloveforrap Send a message via Yahoo to gotaloveforrap   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-03, 07:58 PM   #5
prophiit
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 9B33 081B

they'll never be happy...........not trying to be a thug..........weed is universal..........and the topic was kinda poking fun at people who think that they are controversial..........thus the intro........thank you for the feedback...........guess i'll just have to elevate a whole lot more................upping
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-03, 01:19 AM   #6
prophiit
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 9B33 081B

uppin.........gaaaaangsta....just kidding.....you know i luv ya'll..........
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-03, 02:01 AM   #7
*Y_nOt*
Light Weight
 
*Y_nOt*'s Avatar
 
Posts: 346
Joined: Sep 2003
From: ::BROOK-NAM *to* FRISCO aNd BaCk aGaIn::
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: CEF5 716F

yo i wasnt at all feelin this. You really didnt have anything that attracted me. Your word play and vocab was straiight but all in all i think you need to elivate....im not hate'n just be honest, 1
__________________
*R.I.P*
Jimmy L. , Louis L. , Aj R. , Tyler R. , Chris R., Dan W. , Matt F.......
" You all will never be forgotten and your spirits live within us all!!! R.I.P*"


" So for the 2nd time [The Pharisses] summoned the man who had been blind and said
"Speak the truth before God. We know this man is a sinner."
"Wether he is a sinner I do not know."
:The man replied:
"All I know is this...Once I was blind and now I can see"
John 1x 24-26
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:26 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.