lets go,

untrue self-glorification is funny, it tickles me pink
i don't think i rule the game but i can still murder your ink
182 ways to cut you up, so make sure you dont blink
smooth flows like vanilla, cold as ice without the rink
but this aint a game like hockey, I might be cocky
others lines are sloppy, your rep is small like a horses jockey
im a bad boy on the mike, public enemy number one
shed light like a candle, so hot I can burn the sun
cuz rappin to me is a craze, drop ultraviolent rays
ultra quick with the speech, violent in many ways
like planets, to me all other rappers revolve
spittin rubix cubes, something that you cant solve
I just don’t get how these rappers call themselves vets
there rhymes are used like the plot-line for the bachelorette
you know I drop hot shit, like a man with a healthy bowel
flows never foul, perfection for every line and vowel
Its poetry in motion – just coastin
not even breakin a sweat, but the vets are wetter than the ocean
that how much I got um wigglin, knees jiggilin
cant concentrate, pen squiggilin while im giggilin
like a schoolgirl, cuz I know how much they underestimate
I cant be beat like a handless man trying to masterbate
and im on fire, like Im the the next busta n’ joe
my next joint will be with mya “my rap game is like woah”
it always shows that my flow is like woah
make sure that yall know that too easy wont slow
but jesus Murphy, I don’t know what the hook gon’ be
shouldn’t be hard to choose with all the hooks on me
cuz my options to kill are limitless, like those nike shox
every line I drop is hard like bricks, like jenga I connect the blocks
to make everybody who reads it jump out they socks
these lines excite so much, the fellas should be wearin jocks
cuz ive found the key to the flow, got the game on lock
no guns and know glocks, but I still know how to make it rock
so spell it out for me “T O O E A S” why?
well im still here, and when I battle someone always seems to die

uppin this, need some feedback

holla

uppin, feedback please

You had a lot of big words BUT it didn't come together as well as
it could have... the way it was put together was to simple, for
instance... (its to long to pull out all the pieces) you had the big
words but put it together with elementary type thinking.... you
cant try to rap while trying to do hip hop ( thats what it seems
like, not trying to dis). the structure was okay but it ran together
too much for me to follow a straight train of thought... I didn't
think you went off subject that much it was just a little shaky and
many of the sentences could have double meaning. Keep Writing.

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dawg, your shit is too easy!!!
sorry just fuckin round...
yeh u really had sum vocab but ur lines didn't nmake sense a couple off times..
try to elevate a lil more
peace

check out mine:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=87496

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