RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-29-03, 03:41 PM   #1
Token
...
 
Posts: 2,653
Joined: Jul 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 51-5
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
Parental Guidance

IP: 3CF6 3147

This Is Also A Soon To Be Audio As Well As Fictional Peace...

World Of Drama Adicts And Shameful Tactics
Lives With More Problems Than Complex Mathematics
The Fact Is We Get Wrapped Up And Snatched Up
In That Material World That Makes Us Inject That Crack Up
The Problem Is We Only See, The Fake Lifestyle Of Sitcoms On TV
Leads Us To Believe That It's Normal To Do Adult Things As Teens
Teachin Our Children To Do Anything To Make The Green
Bad Influences, Kids Lose It, Get Too Wrapped Into It
Now They Make Acceptance For Every Mistake And Finally Ruin It
Get Caught Up In Peer Pressure, Completely Freeze On The Spot
Gives In And Next Thing You Know You Gettin Calls From The Cops
Sayin Your Child Was Shot, Gang Related Drug Deal Gone Bad
After That, How You Think You Would Feel As A Mother Or Dad
To Let Your Kid Go Without Any Kind Of Guidance Or Direction
Lecturin Could Have Paid Off Instead Of Goin About Problems Without Any Type Of Mention
__________________
Respect is all I'm after.
Prime effort is all you can expect.
Perfection will be promised in time.

The Creation
Send a message via AIM to Token Send a message via Yahoo to Token   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-03, 12:26 PM   #2
Token
...
 
Posts: 2,653
Joined: Jul 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 51-5
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 41AE D395

uppin for some feedback
__________________
Respect is all I'm after.
Prime effort is all you can expect.
Perfection will be promised in time.

The Creation
Send a message via AIM to Token Send a message via Yahoo to Token   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-03, 06:43 PM   #3
Token
...
 
Posts: 2,653
Joined: Jul 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 51-5
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3CF6 3147

uppin
__________________
Respect is all I'm after.
Prime effort is all you can expect.
Perfection will be promised in time.

The Creation
Send a message via AIM to Token Send a message via Yahoo to Token   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-03, 06:52 PM   #4
.D. CYPHA
New to RB
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Oct 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: ABE5 5A5C

this was a rare piece that i have come across that i read and it really flowed---nice work
__________________
let's get this shit straight, i'm here to eliminate- them squadz wit feminine traits, there's no escape!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-03, 07:23 PM   #5
MonStar
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: B157 F101

nice drop i was really feeling it...flow was good, vocab was pretty good...structure was good and the content was great...really liked the whole message behind it...nice drop and it left me wishing it was longer...keep dropping son...

if you get a chance could you check out my latest open mic and hit me up with some feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=88578
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-03, 07:26 PM   #6
fgee
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 24A3 0EF0

flowed well until the last few lines when t slowed down abit
liked it though
good message behind it and flowed well for the most part
liked the opener
did it welll
although the topic was a bit played u put your own stamp on it
props
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-03, 07:28 PM   #7
Token
...
 
Posts: 2,653
Joined: Jul 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 51-5
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 3CF6 3147

Thank You For The Feedback And If Y'all Can Reply To My Other Piece In My Sig... Fictional Peace...
__________________
Respect is all I'm after.
Prime effort is all you can expect.
Perfection will be promised in time.

The Creation
Send a message via AIM to Token Send a message via Yahoo to Token   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-03, 08:06 PM   #8
Menik
Word.
 
Menik's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,017
Joined: Aug 2003
From: Mifflinburg, PA
Status: Offline
IP: 6FDC 23CB

Yeah i liked this piece.....it was a good read i thought.....it flowed pretty well through out it, got sketchy at the end, but still good ont he flow though.....your vocab was nice, nothing wrong there....your structure was nice.....had nice multies.....overall this was a good piece...keep at it.....and keep dropping.
Send a message via AIM to Menik Send a message via MSN to Menik   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-03, 02:22 PM   #9
LiL Phokus
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: A555 8CD7

Audio
stick to the text
cuz I read some of your shit
and if any body dig your style shit
then niggas is crazy
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-03, 02:30 PM   #10
.:alliK:.
New to RB
 
.:alliK:.'s Avatar
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Oct 2003
From: .:holland:.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 954A E2C5

yeah the flow was aight
a bit short but nice...
good vocab, keep droppin
__________________

^^^ddddddddddddamnnnn

http://www.soundclick.com/maxximum
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:07 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.