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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
11-14-03, 11:49 AM
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#1
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Guest
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My rhyme
IP: 509D 5063
I just thought of it today, tell me what u think.
Now it's only fair to state, my anger and my hate is something you don't wanna see or try to emulate/ Cause if you do your gonna see Satan rise from hell and take over my body and use it as his damn protective shell/ Now you may think i'm a little crazy, insane or maybe mad fucked up in the head or think my childhood was fucking bad/ But that aint the truth Now if u care to deep to look deep inside of me you will find a fucking rapper, whose just dying to break free/ Now i've been restrained holding myself a little bit back though afraid of what people may think of my rhyme, is it good or is it whack yo? But i've elevated over the past 2 years I've been writing alot, thinking of getting new ideas just waiting/dying to get shot/ Coz i wanna blow up and gain the same respect as 50 sell a million records maybe more than Slim Shady and Biggie/ I deserve to have platinum plaques, scattered across my walls I deserve to be the rapper who came and conquered all/ See i belong in this rap game and aint ever gonna leave, and when i'm deceased, you'll realise just how much the game needed me. |
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11-14-03, 12:14 PM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
uppin' fo feedback
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11-14-03, 01:03 PM
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#3
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Flyweight
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IP: 7B47 7A87
I liked it alot, it grabed my attention, you should have used more detail after; But that aint the truth" I couldn't follow the end, it was serious tho, It's very thought up; with the way your words were chosen. keep it up
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11-14-03, 01:07 PM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
yo, cheers sinfic, i'll use dat advice next time i writing a rhyme.
ne more feedback.? |
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11-14-03, 01:12 PM
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#5
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Light Weight
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IP: 0BA5 FAF6
Ummm, i couldn't really put this rhyming scheme,with a beat! Otha than that good word play.. Keep elevating Peace!
__________________
from illness 'DeliVerence' |
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11-14-03, 01:18 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
yo uppin fo feedback
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11-14-03, 01:32 PM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
come on feedback
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11-14-03, 02:03 PM
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#8
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Flyweight
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IP: 7B47 7A87
yo big ups G, keep up the good work
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11-14-03, 02:17 PM
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#9
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Omnipresent
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IP: 6521 D40E
it was ok...that's the best i can say....u wrote it today?...lil weak but alright anyway....semi-good wordplay....no flow in sight....allt that i can say....is keep workin ull get it right...someday
__________________
Sublime
Worthy of awe and praise Respect "..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."
<center>HemiSphere The Write Side Of Your Mind</center> <imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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11-14-03, 02:55 PM
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#10
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
uppin
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11-14-03, 03:31 PM
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#11
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
Now if u care to deep to look deep inside of me
the 'to deep' was a mistake miss it out. uppin. |
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11-14-03, 03:37 PM
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#12
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Got More Meds Than Pfizer
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IP: 39D1 FF34
it flowed good, i'm audio so i know flow, your shit was kinda basic, but at other times like the satan an' protective shell part it was good tho... keep elevatin'... i suggest gettin' into audio... 1
__________________
Authentik Intelligence
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