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Old 07-18-03, 01:13 AM   #1
dice-roller
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sad story, (please read)

IP: B681 7583

i gave you all you could need and all you could have
running away to see you and cummin home 2 my dad
gettin hit but thinkin of you it was worth it, and im glad
thinkin about u makes my chest hurt & makes me think sad
I could of cried till i died but ill held it all inside, for myself
sitting in my room holding that picture of u that lies on my shelf
everytime i think of you i feel a shiver go up my spine
then i think to myself........... David you will be fine
you used me as if i were a living soul dart board
my heart was the red in the middle & u hit me with every shot
i fought to be with you and struggled when it hurt to kiss you
now that its all over all i do now is miss you and want u here
but now im gonna live with fear of myself cuz i wont shed a tear
but now i want you to know...........the next shot you hear
was me. killing myself while lookin in a mirror with your picture
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Old 07-18-03, 03:51 AM   #2
GunRunna
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man that was felt, that was really felt
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Old 07-18-03, 04:22 PM   #3
dice-roller
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can i get some people to check this out
for me and post what yall think please
holla atcha
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Old 07-18-03, 05:40 PM   #4
Da NFamous
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that shit was real deep i like it man, i know how u feel and the end line was pure dopetry many props and stay up, its a shame more people dont check the poetry forum. could u peep my piece passed rain? thanks man, 1luv.
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Old 07-18-03, 08:00 PM   #5
dice-roller
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ne1 wanna read this for me and tell me what
they think please
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Old 07-19-03, 06:56 AM   #6
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this man needs some people to check out his skill
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Old 07-19-03, 12:04 PM   #7
Crash
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dayum this pieace is.........deep
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Old 07-19-03, 03:44 PM   #8
southsideloco
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that drop was real deep, man were do peeps get these skillz
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Old 07-19-03, 04:25 PM   #9
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thanks ta both yall with ya feed back.............
yall jus gotta put ur all inta everything and
thats what you get is that kinda stufff i wrote
up there............................................. ..............
.................................................. .....................
tell me what you think people
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Old 07-19-03, 05:33 PM   #10
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yo i dig that, it's real. From the soul, that's how poetry should be, it's a prime example. keep it up
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Old 07-20-03, 02:41 AM   #11
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thanks to the people above//////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
more always needed and i would be pleased to
read what you think
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Old 07-20-03, 07:13 PM   #12
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That was tight. Emotionally shit is the only way to write nice work.
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Old 07-21-03, 04:20 AM   #13
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aight thank playa ^^^^^^^^^^
check this out for me people
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Old 07-22-03, 08:13 PM   #14
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Can i get some people to peep this for me
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Old 07-23-03, 03:09 PM   #15
Split-eyez
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wow very touching
keep writing straight from the heart
I really felt this... really deep
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