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07-18-03, 01:13 AM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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sad story, (please read)
IP: B681 7583
i gave you all you could need and all you could have
running away to see you and cummin home 2 my dad gettin hit but thinkin of you it was worth it, and im glad thinkin about u makes my chest hurt & makes me think sad I could of cried till i died but ill held it all inside, for myself sitting in my room holding that picture of u that lies on my shelf everytime i think of you i feel a shiver go up my spine then i think to myself........... David you will be fine you used me as if i were a living soul dart board my heart was the red in the middle & u hit me with every shot i fought to be with you and struggled when it hurt to kiss you now that its all over all i do now is miss you and want u here but now im gonna live with fear of myself cuz i wont shed a tear but now i want you to know...........the next shot you hear was me. killing myself while lookin in a mirror with your picture |
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07-18-03, 03:51 AM | #2 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B681 7583
man that was felt, that was really felt
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07-18-03, 04:22 PM | #3 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B681 7583
can i get some people to check this out
for me and post what yall think please holla atcha |
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07-18-03, 05:40 PM | #4 | |||||||
Str8 From CopKilla Queens
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IP: 4577 CD9A
that shit was real deep i like it man, i know how u feel and the end line was pure dopetry many props and stay up, its a shame more people dont check the poetry forum. could u peep my piece passed rain? thanks man, 1luv.
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07-18-03, 08:00 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B681 7583
ne1 wanna read this for me and tell me what
they think please |
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07-19-03, 06:56 AM | #6 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B681 7583
this man needs some people to check out his skill
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07-19-03, 12:04 PM | #7 | |||||||
BANNED By Jae Cyph
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IP: FB8A C72F
dayum this pieace is.........deep
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07-19-03, 03:44 PM | #8 | ||||||||
Flyweight
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IP: E7CB E3DC
that drop was real deep, man were do peeps get these skillz
__________________
Quote:
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07-19-03, 04:25 PM | #9 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B681 7583
thanks ta both yall with ya feed back.............
yall jus gotta put ur all inta everything and thats what you get is that kinda stufff i wrote up there............................................. .............. .................................................. ..................... tell me what you think people |
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07-19-03, 05:33 PM | #10 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 3FEC 444C
yo i dig that, it's real. From the soul, that's how poetry should be, it's a prime example. keep it up
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07-20-03, 02:41 AM | #11 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B681 7583
thanks to the people above//////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// more always needed and i would be pleased to read what you think |
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07-20-03, 07:13 PM | #12 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: E655 47CD
That was tight. Emotionally shit is the only way to write nice work.
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07-21-03, 04:20 AM | #13 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B681 7583
aight thank playa ^^^^^^^^^^
check this out for me people |
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07-22-03, 08:13 PM | #14 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: C7A7 8B24
Can i get some people to peep this for me
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07-23-03, 03:09 PM | #15 | |||||||
Registered User
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IP: 8197 FA9C
wow very touching
keep writing straight from the heart I really felt this... really deep |
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