Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
12-20-03, 10:30 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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Check this freesytle
IP: A009 8026
Yo i came in
The game was lame I put my flame in Game started blazin My lyrics started ragin I couldnt be caged in Everything was mine for the takin No lieing not even fakin Never diein thats forsaken Call me Orion Cuz I'm shinin I found the place they call Zion Im bound to my word no untiein Im crowned king forever ridin (lyrical not literal) My sound is mean,clever I'm never hidin If your down ur in,.. no election U just gained my protection See you later follow my direction All you haters get off my back I didnt call for a scratch They try to attach my skills That they cant match But my skills just hatched And got everyone attached Could it be used as a verse? 1 Love |
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12-20-03, 10:33 PM | #2 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.
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12-20-03, 10:49 PM | #3 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: A009 8026
Skitten
A.T. Edicus aight 1 Love |
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12-20-03, 11:12 PM | #4 | ||||
Nigga Ima OG.
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IP: 0386 0067
"freestyles" are supposed to be in the cypher section...
this was straight - flow was weak, so was vocab 5/10
__________________
OG Status My people skills are way better then yours, nigga.. |
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12-21-03, 09:47 AM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Was a little simple. Vocab was aight. Make the lines longer. Make it more complex. It could be used as a verse if you pruce up the lyrics a little bit.
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12-21-03, 09:54 AM | #6 | ||||
Sane Scientist
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IP: 7FF5 D1DA
Ok your rhyme scheme was there...
However your vocab needs to improve.. I seen some metaphor which is always good.. Work on your structure..the lines are too short.. and like I stated before vocab is a must,.... |
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12-23-03, 12:41 PM | #7 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: B836 4E64
improve your vocab and rhyming a bit and you should be pretty straight home boy, well I didn't personally feel it but if it's your first I understand it then man.
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*Nashville city* |
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12-23-03, 01:19 PM | #8 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 1B3B C284
diz was straight flow was off...vocab not to hot..but otha than that it was straight..4/10
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