Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
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12-07-07, 01:05 AM | #1 | ||
I made it and il end it
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prepare for crash landing
IP:
dwelled feelings,so much pain is rained,
but im the 1 who drank + sniffed who the fuck am i 2 complain?? cant sleep,man im waiting for that chang over, its gona b so bad,but for a whole night wiv the women i was a real casanova. so many body parts affected wiv that potent mix of drink+drugs, smoking aint that clever either,my tongue feels like a persian rug! brain flickering back and forth,remembering the nights events, man that bird was ai8t,shit wot a prick iv spent the fuckin rent. cant focus, wots the nxt bad thought creeping in? its times like this that u wish u cud buy another drug 2 wash away ur sins. eyes closeing quickly,but brain speeding up, man 2moro will b a test of strength,concience plz shut the fuck up!!!! thinking so deep,losing my way, cant take this depression,wonder if god cud or wud help if i prayed??? i doubt it,i dont deserve it,dont wont it or do i??? so confussed, need that sleep fast,cant keep up wiv my body+brain, 1 min shivering,the next dripping hot,is it really worth it? this cant b humaine! feel proper down,should i cry?? wot the fuck for??? its a cum down! i aint gonna die!!! im dreaming but still awake, bad dreams again,keep jumping up,i jus dont know how much more i can take! |
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12-07-07, 02:04 AM | #2 | |
сварливый
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IP:
some dope thoughts in this. links by midnight .
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12-07-07, 11:59 AM | #3 | ||
I made it and il end it
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IP:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=244847
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=244572 nice 1 thanks, could and should of made it alot longer,but only wrote it coz i couldnt sleep for shit,but halfway through i felt able 2 sleep so finished quick lol.peace |
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12-08-07, 07:52 PM | #4 | ||
I made it and il end it
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IP:
any comments plz??????????????
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12-09-07, 11:42 AM | #5 | ||
New to RV
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IP:
um okay im a break this down to you in the normal way that i do anyone else...it was totally basic dude. i meen the storyline is played on suicide and all that but the imagery is not as deep as i thought it would be..try writing from a picture to start off your topicals it will help with the reader to vision what your writing even more..but decent work..just need a little improvement and that should do the trick.
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12-09-07, 12:05 PM | #6 | ||
I made it and il end it
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IP:
cheers dude thanks 4 the feed + advice. peace
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12-13-07, 04:04 PM | #7 | ||
Light Weight
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IP:
I like it dude, Solid flow but an abrupt ending
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12-13-07, 05:00 PM | #8 | ||
I made it and il end it
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IP:
cheers man anymore comments plz cheers
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12-14-07, 08:20 PM | #9 | |
New to RV
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IP:
Nice wellll okay! Its decent i like it good flow and shit!
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12-21-07, 08:36 PM | #10 | ||
I made it and il end it
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IP:
could i have sum'mo feed cheers........
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12-21-07, 11:54 PM | #11 | |
Addicted
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IP:
ya this was decent it was not as good as the last peice i gave u feed for but it wasnt bad! Keep it up and keep writin bro!
I'll leave more feed for ur other peices of the weeekend! peace dawg!
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Fly-E The B.E.S.T Crew Were Back! |
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12-31-07, 02:38 PM | #12 | ||
I made it and il end it
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IP:
jus wanted to say this is more played on effects of coke rather then suicide prenom, 2 understand it fully you need to of taken coke b4, anywayz peace
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01-01-08, 04:59 PM | #13 | ||
New to RV
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IP:
I fucks with coke, n i sleep fine. anyways this was jus basic, try n use better vocab n shit.
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i bring the arsenal like arsene wenger |
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01-01-08, 05:14 PM | #14 | ||
I made it and il end it
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IP:
do more then a line then, either that or buy off sum1 who dont cut it so much-so it ends up jus being hay fever tablets crushed...........
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01-01-08, 05:59 PM | #15 | ||
New to RV
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IP:
Lol why would i do jus a line. if ur gonna be gettin ur sniff on u need at least a g. as i said jus try get deeper with ur words..
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i bring the arsenal like arsene wenger |
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