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Old 05-18-04, 02:18 PM   #1
baby_gal
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 167
From: st.albans
What have I don to deserve this? [FEEDBACK NEEDED]

IP:

All the neon lights are shining brightly//
I press my head on ur chest..very lightly//
I hear ur heart beating//
Getting flashbacks of our first meeeting//
in the park// In the dark// all alone baby
Tell me why u had to go// And leave me so....y?

[hook]
Leave me on ma own
on the floor stone called in my home
not bein able to even reach the phone
to call u and still say that I care
I wana do anything just to make it fair

Oh Baby, What have I done to deserve this?
It musta been love// Cos I remebered our first kiss//
And that kiss lingers and that I really miss//
I try and get u back but u n ya mates take the piss//
Why does it have to be like this?//
I wana hold u there forever baby//
why why why?
Tell me sumink new not " This is why I dumped u"
Tell me sumink true... Cos u know im true to u//
So please be true to me.....forever baby....please
Cos I need somebody// I wana feel some1 close to me// Tell me baby please...... COs I want u, Want u...............

[Hook]...Till fade
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Old 05-21-04, 10:33 AM   #2
Wordz AhGod
ROFL @ u niggas since '04
 
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From: FLA
IP:

could be a straight song, Im not sure how the hook goes. U'd also prabably need a male rapper,or Thug, such as for say, Me, Cannibus, or Chino Xl, to balance it and keep it from ramboling on. U also would have to make the first verse a little longer.all in all, sounds like it could be a good song if u stoped the whinnin' and add one more verse for lentgh and closure.
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Old 05-21-04, 11:47 AM   #3
Soul Sickness
(00)O=(00) <-- I will knock you the fuck out........
 
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From: Newtown, Pa
IP:

its a strait song baby....much love keep it comin but yea i would try to pull in a rapper to top it off with a guy part
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Old 05-31-04, 10:24 AM   #4
baby_gal
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From: st.albans
IP:

kk thanks babe
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Old 05-31-04, 10:29 AM   #5
Sik Wit It
 
Posts: 5,817
From: Florida
IP:

Shit was str8 baby...keep it up..
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Old 05-31-04, 10:38 AM   #6
baby_gal
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From: st.albans
IP:

hehe, thanks hun
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Old 05-31-04, 10:39 AM   #7
baby_gal
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Posts: 167
From: st.albans
IP:

shit dis thang was old neways
uppin ..........
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