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11-24-03, 09:14 PM | #1 | ||
I Am The Light
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so whats your birth weight? soft focus (calisto~deacon~emotion) dont sleep on this
IP:
Calisto: Mother
Masquerading day to day, deciding whether to cry or celebrate This breathless wonder within me beats, but congers up such hate My decision with other’s thoughts, life or death I daringly designate Cutting circulation, a life on these strings, I reluctantly breathe Consequences weren’t present within the act of being conceived But he didn’t ask for this, it was my fault for naively believing Yet wondering what soul could place blame for such elation Who could bask in the misery of untimeliness, during celebration? Wondering how God could bestow a blessing as such devastation? I’m panicking during the day and wide awake in the evening Contemplating the realness of this life, if it’s not breathing But inevitably this precious being from my body is leaving Deacon: ~Baby~ Caught in-between a decision… Locked your insides to a weaker minds incision... A needle with perfect placement implements my stamina You rectified the problem by killing, did you think you’d reach an answering Hate flares to an unlucky medium, pick my casket some toilet paper and a soap bar. Clean yourself cause im dirt...the little in me is hardly worth… Time to spend happily, encountered through a lovely 20 minutes of ecstasy, Romantically, You divorced me and cursed me to a death, I lived inside a wall I didn’t even get to believe I could breathe yet, I fall, a short distance into acceptance, Receptive listening you’ll hear me make a splash, im finished My only touch, confused because pc bullshit… Retire me from pride to boast a worthless wishlist… How can you do that when theres nobody witnessing. Except the man with the green white shirt, “oh him well he’s just visiting” Worthless tempered fool makes more money than my body was worth, He scraps me from her insides and claims he loves child's birth… I hate you, I hate you, reject a single me, I wish i had a single sight a place where i should be I hate you, I hate you, infect me with this disease You wish you had a second chance i just wish that i could breathe I breathe a breath, i breathe Im a seed that lacked its soil, i just wanted to be normal, God saw a different side of me, saw a light you couldn't see Emotion: a person who is pro choice It's her body her choice, It's Her decision her voice, A man cant understand this, How a women cant handle this, Why should a child grow up unloved, When it's unwanted, but can be cherished from above, The love is a nonetity, The baby was never meant for an identity, It's a contempt decision, But are you sure you've done revision?, Because a babeys just not a financial obligation, Its not an assination, God seeks no retribution,Abortion? Male Pig it's her decision,She wants to make a mistake? It's her infliction, Dont worry about conscience cause' it will slowly fade, It wasnt youre fault, dont let any one ever call you a slut cause you got laid,
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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11-24-03, 09:26 PM | #2 | ||
Special Ghost To Blow
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IP:
this all in all was a very decent read..I dont mind reading
anyones piece..its not hard....deacon calisto emotion... favorite to least favorite but all good writtens calisto you always seem to get a little more sharper with your vocabluary and imagery and you no longer need my assistance..you can write pretty damn well on your own..please never stop writing with your heart deacon you made me think I was reading lyrics from aesop for a minute with somethign different from a babys standpoint and your whole verse didnt fall off at any point...this was done excpetionally well emotion you droped some knowledge well as the pro choice individual on this collaboration and got your point across very well...I thought your last part wasnt needed but it was good anyway and it wasnt mine..well done once again another good collaboration by us... |
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11-24-03, 09:41 PM | #3 | ||
I Am The Light
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IP:
thanks content for peeping this so soon..i always enjoy your critiques man...as for the piece yeah i was pleased with this...lets get some more feed back
-1-
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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11-24-03, 09:44 PM | #4 | |
wanna play doctor????????
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IP:
wow...this is...awesome...all piece were top level shit...
i like the views on this here... every1 hit their shit well... major props...way to rep soft focus... this was a very deep piece... deacon...i loved this I hate you, I hate you, reject a single me, I wish i had a single sight a place where i should be I hate you, I hate you, infect me with this disease You wish you had a second chance i just wish that i could breathe I breathe a breath, i breathe Im a seed that lacked its soil, i just wanted to be normal, God saw a different side of me, saw a light you couldn't see |
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11-24-03, 09:46 PM | #5 | ||
I Am The Light
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IP:
hahah yeah forsure that just flowed out mayne...it was a rough draft that i felt was perfect so i used it..
thanks for the resp/// -1-
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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11-24-03, 09:47 PM | #6 | ||
Light Weight
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IP:
GOD DAMN. This piece was purely amazing in my eyes. I've seen girls go through this type of shit before.. this had every bit of emotion that could have come out of a piece like this. the vocabulary you guys used was on point and perfect. The flow of every piece was flawless. Every aspect of this peice was pure genious. Great job.
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<center>Fuck it...</center> |
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11-24-03, 09:51 PM | #7 | |
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IP:
Shit nice drop i like how yall keep collabing on these they all turn out rael well. Much respect on this I liked how ya'll take the figure or somethin else. In this a mother baby etc... and in ure others like elements and stuff. Really nice Props on this. Keep em comin.
Overall Grade: 9/10 |
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11-24-03, 09:53 PM | #8 | ||
I Am The Light
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IP:
thanks everyone...illspit i made actually both topics up...hahahah not givin me any glory..****.looks at the mirror damn i look ***good...hhaha
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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11-24-03, 11:46 PM | #9 | |
Guest
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IP:
^^Conceited bastard! lol thank you all for peepin this... I love how much you guys have accepted Soft Focus and our poetry an collabs!! I love you guys! MUAH!
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11-25-03, 05:00 AM | #10 | ||
Middle Weight
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IP:
much love 4 all the positive replys.........
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Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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12-04-03, 01:15 AM | #11 | ||
Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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IP:
Hm... I don't need to tell you all how good this is. I don't. You all know how good this is. You all KNOW it's good.
As for the issues... I don't entirely like how deacon portrayed things. I mean, yes, it was well written. And the opinion and veiw point and everything was on spot. But, from a babys perspective, it's individualistic. I mean, that's him. I'm just saying, I've said more than once that my life would've been a lot better had I never of been born. And I've wished on more than one occasions for an abortion of my ownself before I was born. That's how I would've written it. I also think Emotion could've touched up on the unloved part. I mean, a lot of people don't realize that the ones that actually NEED to have abortions, are doing so because they can't take care of their children. I mean, my mother had no job, no money, and for whatever reasons could've even get on welfare. Yet she had two children. If it wasnt' for the fact she could hand us over to our grandmother, we would have ended up dead. As in, not aborted, just starving to death. Literally. But... fuck... I'm not critiquing the peice you guys collabed on, I'm bitching my own stupid opinion. I'm sorry. That, and I think Tailsteak has a much more well rounded opinion. http://tailsteak.netherweb.com/archive.php?num=112 |
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12-04-03, 06:46 PM | #12 | ||
Middle Weight
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IP:
The Necromancer
^^^is dope
__________________
Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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12-05-03, 02:21 AM | #13 | ||
emceeing is believing
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IP:
nice piece, you really made me feel this one.
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SOFT FOCUS [The Buddah just sits and smiles] |
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12-05-03, 03:08 AM | #14 | ||
Light Weight
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IP:
shit the whole piece is too good for me to pick out just one part.
all I gotta say is DAMN...... |
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12-05-03, 04:33 AM | #15 | ||
Middle Weight
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IP:
pce..^^
__________________
Soft focus Whats the point of living? The voices in my head Feat. Rule Unlikely Alias More Comming soon! |
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