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Old 12-29-03, 11:47 AM   #1
Antonio Banderas
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Max Payne (keystyle)

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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...100#post1026100
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102020
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...096#post1026096

{Intro Story}
I've cracked brains to leave my enemies thoughtless while I act insane
Ever since my wife was slained I converted to the mercilous Max payne
I've been dealt the hand of death, therefore I have nothing to lose
Its kinda like Im grasping my own grave, the way Im clutching my dome
I've played with death for years, so my soul is taking a gamble
I use to be claimed top detective, the way I was breaking all scandle
Now my contracts been released, and I'm a self proclaim free agent
I'm bout to prance upon my prey until their face bleed's fragrant
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Old 12-29-03, 11:50 AM   #2
Penskills
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..Not bad..a little short..but..I guess that's why they call it yhe 'Intro...^^
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Old 12-29-03, 12:00 PM   #3
Antonio Banderas
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Yeah, my written is coming tommorrow. Will be way better than this keystyle....
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Old 12-29-03, 12:05 PM   #4
~CeRtiFieD~
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its aight, lil short, waiting to see the rest when its done.

feedback preciated,.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102059
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Old 12-29-03, 02:50 PM   #5
Menik
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Yeah this was alright i thought....structure was alright in this....flow was alright, it stayed on point through the piece...didnt fall off really, some spots but very little....you had some good multies in there...but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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Old 12-29-03, 03:22 PM   #6
Echo
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It was good. I would've liked to read more. But good piece
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Old 12-29-03, 03:27 PM   #7
BaG oF SkILLz
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It was a overall original decent flow, Had decent flow...I wanna see it when its finished...one
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Old 12-29-03, 04:09 PM   #8
Antonio Banderas
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Thanks guys for your comments.....
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Old 12-29-03, 04:17 PM   #9
NewPort
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not bad.. i didn't know if this was about you or the
game tho.. lol specify on that shit. not bad for it being
short.. i liked it, not bad

hit it up
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=102145
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Old 01-01-04, 04:04 PM   #10
Antonio Banderas
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uppin for any last minute feedback
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Old 01-06-04, 03:54 PM   #11
Alter
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short, quite good though, you need to work on the legth of your rhymes
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Old 01-06-04, 04:17 PM   #12
Chaotic Tyrant
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again short....but vey nice..props indeed

keep it up
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Old 01-06-04, 10:02 PM   #13
Silverback
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...Give You Props For Originality...
...Make Ya Lines Shorter...
...Plus, If You Gonna' Make This A "Written," Make This Rhyme...
"I've been dealt the hand of death, therefore I have nothing to lose
Its kinda like Im grasping my own grave, the way Im clutching my dome"
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Old 01-07-04, 01:30 AM   #14
mulletstation
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nice. nice. very true to the video game.
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