I can write a billion words, but none would be adequate to describe her.


I should sing a million songs, but not a one would take note of the longing.


I could raise a thousand tophats but the morning wouldn't express the truth.


I will dance a hundred steps but not one of them will be in the right direction.


I can't drink a ounce more, she loves me to the core. Tells me lies as it slides down my throat I emote pride.


I won't ever love again, she keeps me in her head. All that keeps me sane when the river starts to bend.

thats creepy 666 posts lol

anywho the piece

short and simple. structure and vocab were simple, but it was nice that way. your imangenary was great thou, a topic of lost love done again, but you kept it interesting and real. it seemed natural and showed its emotion. it was a nice read.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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lol, Im at 666 posts and your at 420..............dope

upp'n for feedback

This was short...but your lines were good.
I liked the emotion in each..and the words you chose to show feeling
Basic in some parts but dvanced in others...which made it easy to understand
Good drop. I enjoyed it.

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

..............gracias

short.... but i liked the emotion on each line, vocab was pretty simple but the words still helped with the emotion, Structure was good....keep droppin

peace

I liked The Vocab No Doubt.Structure Was Great You Got Everything On Lock.Emotional Thats Pretty Hard To Poemize About. keep On Poemizing GL.

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K'Oed

short... but sweet, nise structure and it was reel, keep it up

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A Thousnad Hearts Beat 2 Tha Youngbloodz New Debut Nah Lil Suckas It Aint 2002.this Is 2003 And Im Feelin Simply Angry That Shawty B Gave In Her Poem So Soon Hey Ma Give It A Second Go And Dont Think So U Can Be Focused Aighht Yeah I Know Im Tight.

^wtf?

^ THATS WHAT IM TRYING TO FIND OUT
but to the point...
this piece was short and simple, like said above, it's a topic i've read and written numerous times but i like your style, you kept me interested, keep writing, nice drop

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{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
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{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."