|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
|
|
01-24-04, 04:23 PM
|
#1
|
|
|
New to RB
|
If these Tears could Talk
IP:
If the eyes are the window to the soul then my window leaks/
The frame is rotted and the pain has streaks/ The leaking liquid running down my face/ Falling into the tissue guttering i need to replace/ If these tears could talk they'd tell the tales/ Tell the tales where my mouth fails/ No noise is made jus this leakin water/ If noise is made im for the slaughter/ Please don't tell anyone, this can be our little secret/ Under the carpet we will sweep it/
__________________
 |
|
|
|
01-24-04, 04:24 PM
|
#2
|
|
|
New to RB
|
IP:
Please give us ur comments and ne constructive criticism is much apreciated as this is my first open mic
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
01-24-04, 04:48 PM
|
#3
|
|
|
New to RB
|
IP:
reply plz
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
01-24-04, 05:11 PM
|
#4
|
|
|
New to RB
|
IP:
People are lookin but no replys c'mon
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
01-24-04, 05:35 PM
|
#5
|
||
|
Banned
|
IP:
Good verse son. if u can drop like that u hav gota call sum body out 4a battle.if u hav stuff like that u'll do well!
|
||
|
|
|
01-24-04, 06:23 PM
|
#6
|
|
|
Guest
|
IP:
nicely done....keep the flow a little bit mor consistent and give it some more lines and you have got yourself some dope shit right there...6.5/10
|
|
|
|
|
01-25-04, 01:41 AM
|
#7
|
||
|
Word.
|
IP:
Yeah i agree this was a nice short little piece here.....i liked it though.....i liked the first line "If the eyes are the window to the soul then my window leaks" <-nice....structure could be a bit better....you had some good emotion in this, liked that...overalla nice piece...keep at it.
|
||
 
|
|
|
01-25-04, 01:09 PM
|
#8
|
|
|
New to RB
|
IP:
Thanx ne more
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
01-25-04, 01:25 PM
|
#9
|
||
|
Banned: Spamming
|
IP:
..decent short little piece..few good lines...good flow and content..and start replying to others...peace...
|
||
|
|
|
01-25-04, 01:49 PM
|
#10
|
|
|
Banned
|
IP:
Yeah, u got some gd stuff keep it up.
|
|
|
|
|
01-25-04, 02:02 PM
|
#11
|
|
|
Guest
|
IP:
Yeah im likein that verse, ya have got some good punch lines keep it goin!
  |
|
|
|
|
01-26-04, 11:08 AM
|
#12
|
|
|
"The Eleete"
|
IP:
Yo dawg that would make a sick Chorus ina song, no doubt!! Shit is good short verse.....hit me up sometime....Peace
|
|
|
|
|
01-26-04, 11:52 AM
|
#13
|
|
|
New to RB
|
IP:
Thanx ne more
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
01-29-04, 01:44 PM
|
#14
|
|
|
New to RB
|
IP:
Thanx ne more
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
01-29-04, 01:47 PM
|
#15
|
||
|
RI's prodical son
|
IP:
pretty nice imagery here, kept it plain simple to the point..not bad..couldve been a lil longer..but It was pretty decent...keep spittin
__________________
Zero effects |
||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Hybrid Mode
