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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Banned: Cheating
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Obsession
IP:
ok, I felt like tryin' something new. Don't hate. Don't kno if this belongs here, cuz I don't see any other pieces like this, but here it goes:
Girl, when I see you, I feel like I wanna faint I wanna make you my boo. Take you out on a date I hope I’m not late, cuz I wanna steal your heart Jus like a bank robber, but that’s not where I’ll start Awesome personality, body, and brains. You’re a piece of art You got everything to drive a brother insane, like a Wal-Mart But when I try to talk to you… my mouth just drops I can’t get out a word… my mind just stops I got so much to say to you ‘bout how I really feel ‘Bout wat I would pay to do, to show you that I’m fo reel It’s so surreal, I don’t look when you pass me in the hall But when you pass, I turn around, and then I trip and fall I can’t stop thinkin’ of you… I think I’m obsessed Knowin’ that I can’t talk to you, gets me so depressed I wanted those feelings to be suppressed, so I took a chance I would do anything to impress… to get me outta this trance The next day at school, when I saw you pass me by I actually looked at you, and gave you a big smile I then called you over to my locker, and I did what I wanted to do For the longest time, I finally said “I love you” Be honest wit ur feedback. PEACE |
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Light Weight
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IP:
Thats realy tyte. Love it. Awww my heart wud' melt if my boyfriend wrote that for me
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look at this
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IP:
itz tite 2 femalez az u can see an u got nice wordplay in it but i dont feal usher type of flowz but do tha damn thang mr. beyonce
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
lol at Mr. Beyonce.
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....Trunks R 4 Bodies....
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IP:
hot shit!
I hope it got you the girl...... one love...... |
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New to RB
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IP:
That was some good shit, For trying something new.
I fell u young |
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Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP:
very noce
nice flow nice vocab good metas great i give u a 8/10
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New to RB
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IP:
I feel you bother, the being in love part its a damn natural disaster the way women can effect a man.
Give that poem/rap to her, women LOVE that shit. Theres no limit to how much women love that shit but the obsessed part can scare them sometimes. |
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
thanks for all the compliments. Yea, I'll get that obsessed part out. PEACE
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
anymore feedback?
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New to RB
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IP:
Yeah heres more feedback- write another one.
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
What, you mean another one like this or just another open mic?
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New to RB
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IP:
Quote:
another open mike |
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
yea, I'll start workin' on one. Just need to find a good topic.
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♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
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IP:
Nice SPuL, I Like That... *Propz* You Had Good Vocab, Structure, Mutlies, Creativity, And All That Shit, Tight Drop Playa, I Can Respect Where Your Coming From With That!! Itz All Good' All Around Boi, lol DAMN I Wish My "Man" Would Resite That Kinda Shit To Me' But It Aint Happenin (Lol)
Overall: I Thought It Was Tight I Really Enjoyed It!!!! ![]() Keep Up The Good Work Playa (Im Out) Wun Luv,
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|[. You're annoying. Fuck off .]|
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