i dunno what site i posted it on but im sure it wasnt here so peep!



Scenary: Im in my apartment basement with several mutulated bodies. Some alive, some dead,some in pain,some left life in pain.

Enter

Domes misplaced alone at stake just trace these words of arsonist's
attempts to stray then hear bones break to penetrate skin thru cartildge
hard fists fracture stomachs a laughter plummets without sound of sympathy
grounded instantly from the stinch of flesh that exposed my inner infamy
learn that the subjects to kill then proceed to kill the subjects
But whats next? i wipe blood from lungs n make sure there's no crumbs from corpses left
The pain throbbs as life lives thru these mutulated bodies with burned cutts cause the blades hott
One glance in the mirror i stare just to pause and think
Then i applaud the shrink who claimed i had no problems, now parts of him remain in my apartment sink
i spot blood on my cheek but wipe it quickly with an abrupt cry of grace
Come to realize that when i killed my victims i remained with a smile on my face
weapons scattered with organs splattered, visions of mine tragically blinded
i did them justice so they should love this n be proud of my mind set
because i did what they said when my parents told me to

Kill Them with kindness.....

wow, man....that was pretty violent. do you take alotta shit at school or sumtin, i aint tryina be funny i'm just askin, cuz u would have to some type of motivation to write that. it was pretty good tho

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"Lord forgive me, but he tried to kill me, somebody out there gotta feel me."
-Young Buck

nah im just a creative person once i start writing i dont stop n if its gruesome then thats even better. but im a girl not a boy thank you for da reply

im guessing this is from a topical league or something. This was good the flow was on point & the internals worked really well, it also gave it an aggressive feel.

My favourite lines were

One glance in the mirror i stare just to pause and think
Then i applaud the shrink who claimed i had no problems, now parts of him remain in my apartment sink

^Awesome. I cant add any more to make this piece even better, erm...it wudda been kooler if instead o f writing out the scenario you could of told more of a story to lengthen the piece.

Nice piece, one of the best Ive read here.

^..........................

i spot blood on my cheek but wipe it quickly with an abrupt cry of grace
Come to realize that when i killed my victims i remained with a smile on my face...


That line right there made me say damn!

Dayum gurl that was indeed hott, Nice imagery u had me thinkin I was there. lol

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Ya BiTch FA ShO!

yo, ma, you got skill, you should peep our crew girl, yo rhymes is deeper than the ocean....

damn gurl kizza you damn right. peep the crew.

ill, but can u freestyle. see wut up wit versitile. - peace

thnkz uppin...no i cant freestyle i write.

uppings just for more feedback

still goin to peep the crew

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^^^

Yo da was sum real tight rymes cuz. U shud do yo thang cuz der aint da many feme rappers out in tha bidness dese days. Na meen u av got the skillz.
Holla at ya boy
Peace

thnkz yoooooo lol