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Old 07-30-04, 03:04 AM   #1
soultress89
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From: chicago -west sideeee
If I Died Tomorrow Would You Still Love Me

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If i died tomorrow would you still love me,hold me in your arms and bring me to glory,rock me to the days that await me,and let my body fall weightless,the pain i'm feelin inside has robbed me of my life and its good times,so bring me up to see the light ,let that fire burn bright.i know there much more out there...war,racisim,killin and turnin whores.if i died tomorrow my life would'nt be the same because my war would be over and there would be no more pain. people would remember all the shit they did when i was down with there foot at my chin,treated me like shit beat my ass wit sticks and call me a silly little bitch. now they sayin how good i was and done shit fo 'em.they lie cause they holdin there fears down inside but dont worry i cant black ur eyes,but if i died tomorrow would you still love me treat me i'm your homie and never disown me and know are love will always grow on and never devour.
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Old 07-30-04, 01:21 PM   #2
Keith Moon
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nope....



lmao
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Old 07-31-04, 12:27 AM   #3
soultress89
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what does nope mean?
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Old 07-31-04, 01:15 AM   #4
raw killa
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big chase instead of bein a jerk out 4 himself n ur crew shit do wut ur supposed 2 on post n give advice not haterism peace out nice poem soultrees89
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Old 07-31-04, 02:41 AM   #5
The Mexican
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IP:

ay nice poem...like how u kept askin dat question...in otha poems it gets old but u neva really played it out an u used it sparringly...keep it comin...peace
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Old 07-31-04, 02:56 AM   #6
Keith Moon
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From: Pomona, California
IP:

im jk.......first of alll nice piece.....raw cool it i dont wanna have to beef again annd merk ya.......i was jk and it said would youb miss me? nope get it?!?!...
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Old 07-31-04, 07:58 PM   #7
Phenom-in-all
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From: the 306 & 780... CANADA
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Couldnt figure out the rhyme scheme on this - maybe its just me, and my need for structure. Some abstract stuff gets me, but this seemed more like a commentary to me. Not that thats bad - but just different. Nice drop - I agree with mexican on the repetition. Good lookin.
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Old 08-01-04, 02:25 AM   #8
Idyllic Queen
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From: Somewhere over the rainbow...
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Yea...I think this would of been alot easier to read if it had some sort of structure to it...but, it wasn't terribly bad at all...infact, it had great potential...I really enjoyed the theme, personally. Interesting concept...keep on writing and try to elevate...
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Old 08-01-04, 07:53 PM   #9
D-ICED
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From: NEW YORK
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good poem you got your grown woman on ma just set it up easy to read next time.thats love some deep shit word and most niggas couldnt answer those questions good drop check my shit out and give some feedback
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Old 08-02-04, 10:30 PM   #10
CrAzY ShY
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Its nice and aight but need a lil structure to it but yo its tight...
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