yo, its ma first try so gimme a break guys

"Niggas is Grimey"

ma niggas round here is grimey
it'll take a couple of snipers to find me
on ma way to the planet high
smoke dat dutch, nigga i get so high
im the one who gets shit popped off
bury yo head, yo body gets dropped off
gutter im sick to be around, u niggas quick to go down
wenever im in town, this shit goes down
Desert Eagle more than jus a name
its a lifestyle, ma main inflict is pain
while u ready, im get prepared
strap more bulets, nigga get ma infared
while i spits bars, i jack cars for cash
after them shells, yo body loses mass
put u in a coffen nigga i get lost quick
and have these faggot niggas scramblin like Micheal Vick
this shit is real grimey and im always ready
these bullets forever make ya body heavy

peace, uppin dis

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yo it was good in rhymin but needs more wordplay and needs better flow... dope check da sig and i can start you off wiit a strong rapper... check my open mics yo...

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thanx. uppin

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yeah check da sig and PM me...

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Meh...too basic...add some complexity and read all the tutorials in the Tutorials section...=)

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That Old School Mother Fucker

Aint That A Bitch?

Crhyme Sindicate

uppin

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quote your own damn lyrics...

thanx uppin

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thanx uppin

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pretty WACK...dat shyt was simple as hell...no meta4s no nuttin...jus a nigga from da westcoast tryin to b hard...wut kinda thug b on a rap forum...sense desert eagle is ur lifestyle...NIGGA !

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It was good for a starter. You need a couple things changed. Better wordplay..some punchlines...and your good to go. You also need to think abit more about your ideas. Stop and think what you can do to make shit hotter then what you already got. Keep going and you'll elavate.

um, yea, well since some dumb niggas aint got nuttin betta the do but start some fuckin "Internet Beef" im jus ignor dat cause dat shit is stupid

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it was aight, your topic was basic though, all that 50 cent thug shit. try to be a little bit more creative in what you write about and try not to repeat yourself, you said a few words twice in there. yea u got potential just get off that 50 cent shit

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"Lord forgive me, but he tried to kill me, somebody out there gotta feel me."
-Young Buck

for a beginner it was alright, like everybody else said, complexity, and unplayed topics is the key

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my merked list

Guaranteed
Young gunn