Deaths Lust

And as the night screams, and the light weens..
This young mans dreams erupt into a fight scene
And as the moon cries to distract eye's..
His hand lets loose as three or more knives fly

But he cant sway at all or let his mind fade
Needs to consentrate to lower the crime rate
So he snaps back to set traps on track's back
As he maintains process and prepares & acts glad

Infact he's sad but would never admit it at all
Just as soon walk himself right through a brick wall
Percistance and chance swell to dance in romance
As he catches the train's prance in one quick glance

And as the smoke crests and all the billows smolder
His heart grows colder cos' he knows its all over
Rage fills and spills on hills crimson with blood
As he remembers the thrills from kills soiled in mud


Snapping back to reality the formality all dies
As the rumbling train echo's in night's dark sky..
Rolling over; nearly consumed by the freights weight
He escapes fate & waits till he's filled w/ straight hate
His murderous methods beckon the very second..
Electricity's tweekin his brain waves..
He might be insane and deranged..
But he still remains, cold and unchanged.

This topical is about a man bent between killing himself and living to kill.. read the lines carefully before you reply you dont understand or think that it falls off at any one place, or that I drift off subject. Peace.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

wow, this was deep, dark piece, yes, truly a great piece, nice rhyming and descriptive words, they really told the story well, i especially liked the way you closed this too, nicely done man.......pc

__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI"

O Y D

*FluidMusic*


*Poetic Scriptures Moderator*

Thanks for the feedback man, appreciate it alot.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

yo dis was a DEEP piece dam i cud actually see what u was talkin bout dam keep postin

uppin'

__________________
Blow It - Topical

Uppin for more feedback please.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

Stop sleepin on this peice gdamn

__________________
Blow It - Topical

haha sleepin bastards. i'd appreciate more feedback, but whatever, thanks for what I got. stay up. peace.

__________________
Blow It - Topical