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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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10-04-04, 03:44 AM
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#1
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Addicted
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"Thats Life"
IP:
On May twenty second...nine-teen eighty-seven i was born...but i wasnt born wit a happy endin' i wish i was in heaven..with jesus..you better believe this then people wouldn't start beef with me, cuz im next to jesus that would be genuis...but life isnt fair to sum people its like we puppets... dangling over a religous Steeple free the people...... cuz we dont like being tied up like we was a monsterous beast we have no rights...fuck the bill...we know... we wont ever get released id rather be deceased ...then live wit my fucked up life no dad, no nothing ...he died in a car crash wit his present wife which is my mom...thats all i ever knew thats the one who brought me up we went through the tough times..i heard the death chimes..but she never gave up but times change and people get older and colder till they hit there last breath i feel kinda sad for them...i wish no person would have to cope with death but thats life....... and people know life must progress but if it happens to regress...we fucked..we'll always be the damsle in distress its hard to express your feelings but it needs to be done you have to let people know escpically your loved ones cuz if u dont you'll never be heard then you'll live a life like me and u never had to say one word Yup my Poetic Debut.....wutchu think....leave Feedback..... Last edited by ECKO : 10-04-04 at 04:27 AM. |
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10-04-04, 03:54 AM
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#2
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP:
hmmm
interesting for this being your first time id say it is half decent man,your imagery was there,u had some emotion in this...not bad and for this being your first time in all you did an okay job putting your poem into details.....hmmm but there is still alot to learn in this poetic game man... things you must work on....put a little more emotions into ur pieces...and a tat bit more of imagery into ur work...overall thats itt man keep practicing decent job
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Crhyme Sindicate
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10-04-04, 05:49 AM
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#3
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Skadoosh!
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IP:
^^^ yo i agree
for a first time poetry drop it was good. u got all the rewuirements for it to be gud, emotion and feeling in it. u got it into detail like VALOr said, and basically all u need is a little more of the emotion and feeling. I enjoyed the poem. VALOR basically said it the best, and all i can do is agree wit him. Keep the poetry comin ECKO!!!!
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10-04-04, 06:18 AM
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#4
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I have a lot to learn...
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IP:
^good shit.. i was feelin it.. Ya had some nice images in there.. To me it seemed more like a rap verse than a poetry verse.. but it was your first time.. keep it up..
one
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10-04-04, 07:16 AM
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#5
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Addicted
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IP:
more feedback please.....thanks people
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10-04-04, 07:02 PM
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#6
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Addicted
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IP:
uppin.........................
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10-04-04, 09:57 PM
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#7
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New to RB
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IP:
yo if tha wuz ur firstpoem yo than u gonna be a good ass poet.......yo u got raw talent and its arredy somewhat developed.......thas a good drop yo......i kina feel u on sum the shit u wrote yo ........nice emotionl illustrations u put in there........its pretty good for ur first poem......yo stay up mayn nice drop.......
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10-04-04, 11:40 PM
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#8
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Addicted
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IP:
thanks for the feed.....upping for more feedback
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