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Old 11-08-04, 09:24 PM   #1
Speats
Hell yeah
 
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Posts: 4,248
Till I Collapse Remix

IP:

Till i collapse ill do the maths/
to count how many people had played in my back/
no mather in fact,like trash,youll go down and dash/
with a knife ill slash,with a hammer ill smash/
your not my kind you dont have enough class/
ill make cash on your back/
by saying your name on every single track/
be happy that i hold my anger into my mother fucking self/
than trowing it at your mother fucking self/
your very lucky that im felling smily but it wont last/
ill turn bad to make you sad to make you turn mad
you without a smile is making me glad/
i event have pitty for a poor thing like you/
i never had some and i will never do
if im writting this shit its because that im feeling it/
and if you dont like it dont buy my music/
Damn get on your knees for the signer of the mouth
cuz i know it wont last longuer you chump/

just give me feedback..its something i made fast so dont hate
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Old 11-08-04, 09:47 PM   #2
N.Tavarez
the medicine man
 
Posts: 7,487
From: East Coast
IP:

decent but u coulda done better withthat topic
you should re remix it
but good shit check mines
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Old 11-08-04, 09:50 PM   #3
Speats
Hell yeah
 
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IP:

thanks man..i did audio with it
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Old 11-08-04, 10:39 PM   #4
OrEo da cookie
SEE YA AT THE TOP
 
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Posts: 1,185
From: your name
IP:

it was decent you need some vocabulary and youll be good, check mine yo
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Old 11-09-04, 01:29 AM   #5
LyRi-CaLi
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 122
From: Seaside, CA
IP:

weak vocabulary and weak topic.........Wasnt feel it
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Old 11-09-04, 01:48 AM   #6
Implicit
-BTR-
 
Posts: 2,653
IP:

kinda weak.....

.......u need better vocab..........
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Old 11-09-04, 06:20 AM   #7
AK-47
New to RV
 
Posts: 27
From: detriot,mi
IP:

it was ight up ure wordplay a bit and rhyming homie yall be ight
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Old 11-09-04, 07:24 AM   #8
Speats
Hell yeah
 
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IP:

thanks everyone il work one it
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Old 11-09-04, 07:48 AM   #9
Loveliss Grandz
***cITYSLICka***
 
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Posts: 521
From: BrOOklyN,N.Y.
IP:

Vocab And Wordplay Wuznt Good.it Wuz A Real Simple Drop.wasn't Terrible,but You Could Do Much Better.4/10keep Em Comin'.
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I'm like CHUCKy dyin' to live in the flesh free of the BATTERY,
ASSAULT n ROBBERY rapidly,wishin' cupid would clap at me
N lift this evil spell so I can experience happilly evil backwards-see(down there)
EVIL............backwards =............LIVE
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Old 11-09-04, 07:52 AM   #10
Speats
Hell yeah
 
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Posts: 4,248
IP:

someone want to help me to rebuilt this song cuz im going to the studio to remix it and i would like dope lyrics...
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