RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-14-04, 01:40 PM   #1
FataL AkshunZ
Banned: Cheating
 
FataL AkshunZ's Avatar
 
Posts: 102
From: New Jerz (west)
3 simple punchlines

IP:

niggas no dat i stay wit da dutch ill have my niggas post up on da block and shoot like mj in da clutch.

i dont blaze up but i got da weed stack nutted in ya gurl eye so it's lazy like tmacs

nigga i aint no punk my hands is nice i leave lumps on ya face like speed bumps.

i stay wit da beam and a tank a gasoline leave you somewhere shittin out ya last quisine
Send a message via MSN to FataL AkshunZ   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-04, 11:13 PM   #2
Ike
No Relation To Tina
 
Ike's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,242
From: Clarksville, TN
IP:

hmm they were ok.....you used a couple of multis....but space out the lines so we can see were one line ends and the other one starts....for example

i stay wit da beam and a tanka gasoline
leave you somewhere shittin out ya last quisine


just dont that from now on so its easier to read.....but keep elevating....
__________________

Send a message via AIM to Ike   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-04, 01:38 PM   #3
FataL AkshunZ
Banned: Cheating
 
FataL AkshunZ's Avatar
 
Posts: 102
From: New Jerz (west)
IP:

thx fo da advice
Send a message via MSN to FataL AkshunZ   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-04, 01:43 PM   #4
intensify effect
Banned
 
intensify effect's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,626
IP:

Quote:
Originally Posted by livin-legend
niggas no dat i stay wit da dutch ill have my niggas post up on da block and shoot like mj in da clutch.
played.... been said like 1,000 times already...

i dont blaze up but i got da weed stack nutted in ya gurl eye so it's lazy like tmacs
that was an original flip to it and not bad just re-word it a little better.....

nigga i aint no punk my hands is nice i leave lumps on ya face like speed bumps.
i've seen this befor and herd it forgot who said it right but it will hit me soon, and nah u could of flip that....

i stay wit da beam and a tank a gasoline leave you somewhere shittin out ya last quisine
ok this was always kinda played....


all around not bad but get more original and try to re-word ya stuff better aight....
5.5 outta 10....

can u drop feed back on my open mic...

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=166048

^^ thats the link drop some feed back...
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-04, 07:20 PM   #5
FataL AkshunZ
Banned: Cheating
 
FataL AkshunZ's Avatar
 
Posts: 102
From: New Jerz (west)
IP:

thx ill be sure to drop my response good look tho!

vote da battle

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ht=livin-legend
Send a message via MSN to FataL AkshunZ   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:20 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.