One day there was this old guy outside working in his yard and this blonde walks out of her house looking real mad. She looks in her mailbox and there is nothing in it so she slams it shut and goes back inside. She comes out a second time and there was nothing in there so she slams it shut again. So the old man walks up to her house and knocks on the door and she answers and he says \"miss, are you ok\". She replied \"yes, but my stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail\".

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funny............blondes are stupid....

Man: Haven\'t I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that\'s why I don\'t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I\'ll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I\'m a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what\'s your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I\'d die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I\'d probably die laughing.

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One blonde said to the other "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other one covered her left eye and said "Where the fuck is it?!"

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dopest joke ever

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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours

A guy with a small head and big muscles walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. So the bartender does just that. The bartender begins to talk with the man and finally asks the man \"I don\'t mean to sound gay or anything but I want to compliment you on your great physique, but one question\", he continued, \"Why is your head so small?\" The man has heard this comment 100 times over, chuckles and replies \"Well, one day I was a really scrawny man. I was walking through the forrest and I heard a cry for help, so I go to where the cry was coming from and I saw a frog making all that noise.\" The frog tells the man \"kiss me and I\'ll turn into a beautiful, naked woman.\" So the man does just that. The frog turns into a beautiful, naked woman. The naked woman then tells the man, \"Now you have 3 wishes.\" So the man says, \"What I want for my first wish is that I want to have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger.\" She grants him his wish. He rips out his clothes (being the skinny man that he was his clothes did not fit him anymore.) \"My 2nd wish\", the man says, staring at the beauty in front of him,\"is to fuck your brains out.\" So the 2 were fucking for hours and afterwards they were both laying next to each other and the woman tells the man, \"You know, you still have one more wish left,\" the man replies, \"How about a little head?\"

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dope..bu kinda broing until the end

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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours

A man walks into a bar and sees a big jar of money sitting on the bar. He walks up to the bartender and asks what is the jar of money for. The bartender says \"its a secret, give me $20 and I will tell you.\" So the guy slaps $20 on ther bar and the bartender says there is a donkey out back and you have to make him laugh. The guy goes outside and comes back in and to the amazement of the whole bar crowd the donkey is howling and wont shut up. The bartender says \"how did you do it?\" The guys says \"its my little secret.\" The guy comes back a week later and sees another jar of money and again the bartender says \"its a secret, give me $20 and I will tell you.\" So he gives the bartender $20 and the bartender says \"you have to make the donkey cry.\" He goes out back and comes in after a few minutes and the donkey is balling. The bartender and the whole bar is shocked. The bartender gives the guy the money and asks \"how the hell did you do it?\" The guys says \"well 1st you said to make the donkey laugh, so I said my dick was bigger than his, then you said to make him cry so I proved my dick was bigger than his.\"

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dumb shit..but finny i guess

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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours

One day there was this lady who could not find a babysitter so she had to take her son to the bar where she worked. This guy walked up to him and knocked him off the barstool and the little boy stood up and said \"what the heck was that?\" The guy replies \"that was a kung-fu chop from China\". The little boy gets back up and says \"ok\". A little bit later the kid falls to the ground again and he says to the guy \"what was that?\" The guy replies \"that was a karate kick from Japan\". The little boy says \"ok\". Then the little boy gets knocked to the floor again and gets up and says \"what the heck was that for?\" The guy says \"that was a regular kick from Australia\". The little boy says \"forget this, I will be back a little bit\". A little while went by and the boy came back and knocked the guy out and walks up to the bartender and says \"when he wakes up tell him that was a crowbar from Sears!\"

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funny but not the best

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my MYSPACE is Better than Yours

one day this guy walks into a bar and then falls with a big ass lump on his forhead

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If picking your bugars made you money
then my finger would always be in my nose

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hahahaha first joke is dope

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<fieldset><center>Primitive Nature
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The Jury
</center></fieldset>

you from akron man im from the nati bro^^^

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If picking your bugars made you money
then my finger would always be in my nose