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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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03-03-05, 04:07 PM
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#1
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My Dick Stay Wet
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Please Just Look.......
IP:
Title is Lost and Found Lost: my hearts in a box,filled with depleted dreams, and halted thoughts i remain there cuz i was torn apart....was found but now im not the pain continues on all the day, not knowin if ill trust her everyday i waz crushed had to share my love, so every night id pray chose 2 b flirtatious but said she didnt wanna feel guilty so she stayed wish we could go back to that time n see if im da 1 still gettin played was blind but now i see, the harsh realities dat life can bring why cant i finally just finally right these things i remain vulnerable to attacks aimed straight at my heart shes my only, she cant see it, her visions path is too dark lifes a bitch especially when you have to share your love feen i do believe one day, there'll b no one else above me Found: but fuck it, just duck it, she cant seem to reedem the possibilites its not my responsibility for her to belive in that seductive x-tacy addicted, installed cold hearted feelings while diminishing my livin im finishin dis uplifting god given meaningful collision now her heart says but her mind does the other im affraid dat i might no b her 1 and only lover now az i await lost, and waiting for her, waiting to be found the faint sound of her feet is all i can hear in the background *foot steps........fading away........* Last edited by Judicial : 03-03-05 at 04:15 PM. |
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03-03-05, 04:13 PM
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#2
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
I love you
Jess
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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03-03-05, 04:18 PM
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#3
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Rastafari Walk Tall
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IP:
Damn homie...shit was toooo deep..emotion pooring out the page on the real...hope whoever this is about understands ur message....deep fam..
(oh, wrong place 4 it....but come roll wid TE)
__________________
"His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God" Blog Graphic Designer, Illustrator, Web Designer |
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03-03-05, 05:06 PM
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#4
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP:
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03-03-05, 05:55 PM
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#5
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Yeah,This Account = Alias
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IP:
dis was aight...7/10....i dont really like listen ta all that emotionall stuff....good structure flow on point...not much else ta say...good imagiry....
overall:OK-7/10 |
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03-03-05, 06:30 PM
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#6
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP:
this was tight.. yeah boy come roll wit TE we want u boy.. pz
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03-04-05, 08:40 AM
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#7
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...OUTSTANDING...
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IP:
Deep peice you wrote very insightful to your thoughts on the subject. Nice vocab and structure......
__________________
...THE SOULAR POWERED REGULATOR...    ...CALIFORNIA GOLDEN BEAR... 
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03-04-05, 04:40 PM
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#8
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My Dick Stay Wet
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IP:
uppin diz shit.................
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03-05-05, 12:51 AM
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#9
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
pretty dope mayn, but the grammer was off a bit, try writing on a program with spell check n shit who cares if you want it to sound like somin do it the way the actual words spelt and it will look better, but keep workin on that flow and vocab the imagery wasnt really there but the emotion was
-Parallel |
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03-07-05, 10:32 AM
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#10
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-The Shogun of the Dark-
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IP:
yo your on a poetic level nigga! nice to see anpother MC distributing something from their hearts and not flows for the charts, you gots skills and im smeellin your flow and (textual) delivery. take a peek at some of my shit please tho, no feedback is slicing me the kAoS dimension leave that bitch alone fuck it
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03-07-05, 10:58 AM
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#11
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E-Style, Bitch.
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IP:
Sorry i disagree with what these people are saying
Structure was good Flow was good But the rest wasnt all up too much It was average, nothin made me read it an wanna read it again, sorry u know its nothin at all personal, but i just wasnt feelin the peice in genereal 5.5/10
__________________
People Hate What They Can't Conquer |
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05-23-05, 11:09 PM
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#12
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Banned: Biting
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IP:
damn, you came nice with this. very deep emotion bieng displayed. i like this. made much sense of the scenery. very deep headed.
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05-24-05, 12:59 AM
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#13
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IP:
This was pretty good , i was feelin it , Structure was alittle off
Flow could have been alot better...Your wordplay ,and vocab was okay could have been alot better... This was an average peice.. felt it could have been longer... Not much more to say , keep it up
__________________
The Competition
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05-24-05, 02:45 AM
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#14
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The Topical Juggernaut
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IP:
Damn Nice Emotion man, Keep postin i'll keep a look out for ya.
__________________
Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate  The unexamined life is not worth living.
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06-23-05, 05:32 PM
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#15
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New to RV
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IP:
I Love The Emotion And The Structure Was Decent ...keep It Comen ...8/10
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