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Old 03-04-05, 01:34 PM   #1
Adrenaline
unknown legend...
 
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Posts: 889
From: Tdot
Post Only time knows(Im so fly remix)

IP:

ya!! lets go!!

[Chorus]
only time knows cuz I cant tell
will I survive spittin rhymes or will I fail
This is from the heart so I keep it real
Im boxed up inside so im letting loose
I gotta keep tryin,gotta payin my dues
but if it's not worth the shit then tell me what's the use
(repeat 2X)

[Verse]
yo I feel like sometimes the world keeps turnin
im tryna stay steady cuz my desire keeps burnin
I know I'll make it one day if I stay determined
and im still tryna perfect all these skills am learnin
so am yearnin,just to stay high
I know I gotta get by
I hope people know me after dis cuz words dont die
I cant settle for second best,I dont want no tie
if u tryna criticize me then really why try
cuz if u dont get Adrenaline that's a damn lie

[Chorus]
only time knows cuz I cant tell
will I survive spittin rhymes or will I fail
This is from the heart so I keep it real
Im boxed up inside so im letting loose
I gotta keep tryin,gotta payin my dues
but if it's not worth the shit then tell me what's the use
(repeat 2X)

piggy bank
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Old 03-04-05, 04:42 PM   #2
Mentor
a.k.a prozak
 
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Posts: 2,177
From: your walkman
IP:

yo you need ta work on your multi's alot...there hasn't even been one in there and you just kinda kept it simplistic...there was no punchlines at all neither and u really didnt describe anything with any emotion...yo by adding all three of those to your open mics will grab the readers attention all the time so u really need ta practice anyway u can on that and if u ever need help just ask me or anotha emcee...i'd give u bout a 4/10 for that...but trust me i know u could do better if u try harder
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Old 03-07-05, 12:46 PM   #3
Adrenaline
unknown legend...
 
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Posts: 889
From: Tdot
IP:

nhaaaaeeggh.....whateva....scrap this.....if u want uppin....lol
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Old 03-07-05, 12:47 PM   #4
Adrenaline
unknown legend...
 
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Posts: 889
From: Tdot
IP:

nhaaaaeeggh.....whateva....scrap this.....if u want uppin....lol
probably my worst peice....lol
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Old 03-07-05, 11:30 PM   #5
Big City
Metropolis
 
Posts: 1,142
From: Maryland
IP:

yeah son this joint wasnt that hot at all. wasnt really much to judge here on this. ok verse and ya drop wa slikea 5 or so. its kind of basic work on ya flow's and structure. try n put some multies in next time. i know u can do alot better than that. but its all good. ...1...
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