Battle Rules:

20 - 30 lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting


Topic: Thoughts before drownding

Minimum posts to vote: 100

Check in by: 03-06-05 at 08:25 PM

Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in.

Linguistics has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-05-05 08:37 PM.

Forgotten Flow has ACCEPTED this battle on 03-05-05 09:10 PM.

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aight yall. my mind works deeper than most so yes this is the thoughts i'd be thinkin. if its too comple for u to understand, then dont penalize me for it. DONT VOTE. i figured it would be better if i spitted from my real thoughts. so here they go...

My body submerged in this water is nothing. My soul’s been drownin in sorrow for years/
So I leave this frigid world as an adolescent who fronts about having no fears/
But I do have fears. Like how my father took out his rage on his child of the oldest age/
And used five fingers to beat his face, then sat and laughed as he bleeds in pain/
Then this ten year old became a man and used my newfound brains to extract revenge/
Asked my dad to move with him and made his and his wifes life livin hell for months on in/
So I ask u why would I have any thoughts on losin my air circulation to H2O?/
I’ve died before, I’ll just come back once again and make my presence known/
I tote the spirits of the young and the old as i enter the soul of the mighty god Poseidon/
and face the embrace of the most un controlled substance since the Watts riots/
wrap myself in chains to keep my instincts restrained as i enter this saturated domain/
see only God can judge me, and only his son can relate to my pain/
i wonder what my mom will think when im gone, the unepected death of her youngest kid/
Cant be a whole lot since she doesnt thihk that much of me as i live/
16 years old, girlfriend's already got a kid and mine's soon on the way/
at least he wont grow up and have a rageaholic father like me/
and its likey, that i wont be allowed to die if i drown in this moment of time/
cause i've spit verses at God too, so i might've pissed him off wit my rhymes/
so fuck it, here goes nothin, im soon to be dumped into the ocean blue/
time halted for 20 lines in my mind to let thoughts go through...
~Yung Duke~

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uppin.............................................

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upsy dazy.............................................. .........people vote

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Voted For: Forgotten Flow

Damn...this battle was hot

I just had to go w/forgotten flow...the emotion u put into this was amazing. I was feelin everything, structure was a lil off, but u made up for it with the vividness of your description.
Not taking anything away from linguistics, cuz ya shit was hot too, but Flow jus used the topic and his personal experiences to create a mad tight verse...keep it up yall good shit!!!

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

uppin............................................. .................................................. ................

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Voted For: Forgotten Flow

this was so hard to judge...

Ling: you locked the whole thoughts
approach, you had nice imagery... so
much emotion was felt. the lines were
the shortest ive seen since provoke. you
had a nice layout, you came through with
the Topical... every word fit , had nice flow
the struct made it so easy to read line to
line, however i wasnt really feeling the
style, i liked the way you wrote just the
feel, but i wanted a background image of
the whole thing as well, still dope.. nice.

forgotten: wow, the words spoke to me,
i feel like this has happened to me with
a different effect. you have nice style, but
i think your bars are a little stretched, tone
them down a little, other than that your
imagery was hot, your flow was decent. the
overrall image was easy to picture in my
mind. wisely approached, you came with a
background image and i liked that. its not
nessecary but it helps to clarify the motif of
the topical youve exposed through your
eyes. word? nice job done here...

vote/ forgotten

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quote your own damn lyrics...