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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-04-05, 11:51 PM
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#1
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I'm no vet!..just skilled
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~Tracing Evil~
IP: 28AD 5545
~Tracing Evil~
Featured poem for a week, good job~fluid..............A Plea................ books I read, things I've taught, bring me here dreams and visions, my eyes deceive me hate and greed, filled with envy, stream from fear sin tainted soul, Oh! god please receive me ................Wishfull Thinking..................... hopes of better things, and how to save my self soon to be, greater something more or less smiles brighter, searching for another way to help no more talking, easy the pain and stress ..............Ties to Hell................. heated convorsations, that never seam to end suicides the only exit, from this cruelty loner full of exalted anger, who shall i befreind hellish ideas of slaughter, all new to me ..............Visionary Dreams.................... Hills of flames and ash, with dancing shadows shades of faces, hidin in intense hate bodys ripped and mutalated, hangin in gallows blades stuck through men, its sins fate ................Bitter Ends.................. slicing these wrists, a soothing releif of pain mind shaken, and my spirit shall burn twisted conclusions, is all a theif of life can gain all regret, cause for heaven I will yern ~Tracing Evil~
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Last edited by fluidmoon : 03-14-05 at 06:51 PM. |
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03-05-05, 12:18 AM
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#2
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Back....
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IP: 9491 4C5E
You can't spell. It was a dope piece Mayn keep it up. I like the structure and rhyming was good. Keep em coming.
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Back..... |
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03-05-05, 12:21 AM
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#3
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I'm no vet!..just skilled
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IP: 28AD 5545
lol........no doubt
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03-05-05, 10:23 PM
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#4
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: A3EA 639E
this was a good piece & fucc what da bitch legend say he just hating but overall it was 10/10 good vocab, structure, & i like how u broke down the different topics & elaborated on ur different views of tracing evil fo sho
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03-06-05, 07:43 AM
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#5
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 3A91 89A1
Love your approach on this, especially with the seperate parts which make it interesting and easy to read. You found a good balance with your vocab, your structure was impeccable and the emotion was strong in here. Good imagery as well, painted a nice picture inside your reader's head. Dope drop, please return the favor by giving feedback on one of my poems, thanks!
DQ
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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03-09-05, 11:07 PM
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#6
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...
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IP: CF4E 8780
like legend said ... work on your spelling... but otherwise i did fancy this ...it was different ... and not as complex as what i'm use to .. but i liked it .... keep em coming
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time...  I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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03-10-05, 04:51 AM
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#7
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Light Weight
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IP: 9896 316A
yo that shit was dope yo, i love that rhyme scheme, shit wa dope
lol nuff said |
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