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Old 05-02-05, 01:35 AM   #1
Intrepid
Are Be
 
Posts: 165
Perfection

IP:

...Representing Degree...


Necessity is possesin me as i press to see why you leave
Instead of blessin me, God's testin me with absolutely no relief
Darkness as my hearts stressed, I'm pressed to progress
But this mess is kept, never left, even after I slept
On my mind all the time, I climb to levels of hope and despair
Am I blind? Missing signs? I'm trying to grow and repair
The pen quivers and shivers releasing these bitter thoughts
I'd never hit her, accusations as i sit here are truly false
Tears race down my face like Nascar, the quick pace is too fast
In this state I beg you, pull a Ma$e, and just come back
Incoming call's never from you, what did I do to my boo
Feeling blue, lets start over new, our hours left are few
Sybolically your locked in me, chained and never let go
If only that were true, now your sockin me, and sayin no
Senses get tense as I'm fenced in court about to be sentenced
Your prescence isnt meant too help, not even a sign of pentance
Wrecked and sent off behind bars, you said I had an obsession
I'm sorry but your beautiful and it just had to be mentioned
In a second it'll be ruined but i will never lose my affection
Every section in my posession, u were made in perfection
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Old 05-02-05, 01:42 AM   #2
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Last edited by Intrepid : 05-02-05 at 12:06 PM.
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Old 05-02-05, 01:46 AM   #3
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
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meh, i think you strained the vocab a little too much, lol, especially when trying to multie it up.....but overall, i think it was a cool piece, had its own uniqueness to it....the start was fire though man, like i said, i think you used too much vocab at the end of it, which kinda took away from your piece.....emotion and shit....but....

Necessity is possesin me as i press to see why you leave
Instead of blessin me, God's testin me with absolutely no relief
Darkness as my hearts stressed, I'm pressed to progress
But this mess is kept, never left, even after I slept
On my mind all the time, I climb to levels of hope and despair
Am I blind? Missing signs? I'm trying to grow and repair

^ wow, that was f'in hot man, so much emotion/imagery, loving it....definately keep up yo....good drop
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Old 05-02-05, 01:49 AM   #4
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Posts: 165
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Yeah I was keystyling it at the begining and it flowed well. I didnt know where I was goin with this piece the whole time. But I felt I had to lay something down tonight. If you got a link to an OM feel free to drop it. Returning good feedback is always a pleasure.
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Old 05-02-05, 01:54 AM   #5
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

well theres one somewhere floating around i posted somewhere....lol.......i'll go up it
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Old 05-02-05, 10:15 AM   #6
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Upping, leave a link and I will hit yours up.
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Old 05-02-05, 01:04 PM   #7
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Upping .
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Old 05-02-05, 05:12 PM   #8
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Upping Again .
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Old 05-02-05, 07:28 PM   #9
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Upping again god damnit
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Old 05-02-05, 07:31 PM   #10
Killuminatic
Middle Weight
 
Posts: 453
From: The moon
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I think u might have tried a little too hard but shit was fuckin ill. Best shit I seen in a while. Sounded like u really felt it too.
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What It Is
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Wins
RoC-a-FeLlA 5-0
ghetto cripple 5-0
NeXion 5-4
RoC-a-FeLlA 5-0
SpokenBluntly 5-1

Losses
ghetto cripple 5-0
Da Vinci 5-2
Gambino 5-2
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Old 05-02-05, 08:11 PM   #11
Hemz
Flyweight
 
Posts: 103
From: Brooklyn, NY
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LMFAO... Mad multis in here.
Not a bad drop overall.
I think your focus on multis took away from the story a lil bit...
But not much.
I liked it overall.
Good job.

Now hit up my OM's.
They're dope.
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Old 05-02-05, 09:57 PM   #12
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Word I'll hit it up tommorow. Peace
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Old 05-03-05, 05:43 PM   #13
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Upping .
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Old 05-03-05, 09:30 PM   #14
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Old 05-03-05, 09:39 PM   #15
¤ÐÅž¤
leave you rest'n pz's
 
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i liked this drop, not cuz of the story but cuz
it flowed well n had pretty consistent vocab
and it showed how ya keystyle n thas koo
assonasance was good, similar to my madman
drop....good stuff, stay up
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i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!
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