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05-23-05, 03:49 PM | #1 | ||
Odi et Amo
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diman vs. Triple_N
IP:
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - Votes by Sunday No line limit and the battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner. If this is a topical battle, write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa. All Battlers must vote on 4 other battles and leave their voting links in their battle thread. Battles voted on may be from either poetry or topical battles. Extensions must be asked for by Thursday night by pming any of the mods (Acuity, Drama Queen & Elementality). No extensions will be given 4 if asked 4 on Friday night. Extensions are only given till Sunday night at the most. Every battler must nominate (not their own) one topical and poetry battle for pieces of the week, in the main forum . People with pieces of the week shall have their drops stickied and placed in the Pieces Of Inspiration sub forum Topic: Beneath the waves
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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05-24-05, 02:33 PM | #2 | |
As Seen On T.V.
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IP:
check, good luck triple.
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quote your own damn lyrics...
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05-25-05, 03:26 PM | #3 | ||
Ya mom massages my nuts
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IP:
checkin in..goodluck to you too
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Haters spend all they time hating on another's life
Then wonder why when presenting there's to others...no one looks twice Because at the end of the day, you get what you give So, when you consumed with his...don't get mad when everyone else is |
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05-26-05, 06:43 PM | #4 | ||
As Seen On T.V.
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IP:
Beneath the Waves
by eph Quote:
& thats the last he said, before he joined jesus dead. id never forget the emotion his mouth poured & bled. its been 2 years. i stand still on this peer, sobbin in fear. not willing to let go. the wind in my hair & stealin my tears. unceiled the vase, where his ashes lay in peace & grace. tried humility, w/ my feet in his shoes & his shoes in God's place. stared the sun in its eyes & dried my tears, too prudent to cry. placed the vase down...stood up straight & loosened my tie. poured empty the vase. then sniffled & released the phase. & walked away, hoping life after death is peaceful beneath the waves.
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quote your own damn lyrics...
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05-27-05, 03:48 PM | #5 | ||
Ya mom massages my nuts
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IP:
Beneath The waves
I'm drowning in a sea of turmoil, kaos, & corruption Misunderstandings, false assumptions, & consumption Of bad ideals, morals, ethics, & practices of self restraint Faint hopes of ever removing my surroundings taint I'm gasping for air, barely keeping my heads above Da waves, swimming on the strength of a family's love A mother's expectations & a mother's congradulations A family's elation, during an a accomplishment occasion But I'm constantly hit wit waves of fierce persuasion Pushin' me under, the air in my lungs continously phasin' Out, wit each dunk underneathe this furious sea Thats hellbound with its intend of overtakin' me But I swim back to the surface after every waves best Shot, givin' all i got to not surcome to my eternal rest Not to today, no way, no how, that day comes 60 years From now, even I wanna buckle under this sea's sheer Virousity, I muster up all my animousity & feriocity To feul my rebel against this abiss turned monsterocity It took me down once & I survived its worse of worse But I do not think I will be able to survive its curse A second time, first go round I was lucky but luck doesn't Strike twice, I looked to christ back then but I wasn't Ready, but I am steady inching towards the shore More & more becoming stronger an firmly reassured That I will survive, an touch the lives of many others With an influence not strictly confined to my brothers As I reach the shore my new resolve strips me of regretal But I am still waist deep in this sea we call the ghetto
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Haters spend all they time hating on another's life
Then wonder why when presenting there's to others...no one looks twice Because at the end of the day, you get what you give So, when you consumed with his...don't get mad when everyone else is |
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05-30-05, 12:00 AM | #6 | ||
in your system
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IP:
meh, i really think eph took this one, here's why
triple, althought you show great intelligence, i thought you over-did it with vocab, mainly because your lines/thoughts weren't that long, so it all seemed kinda forced, which took alot away from the imagery being pictured, and i think you really lacked emotion......it was a pretty cool angle that you took on this, the last like 4 bars, were really good, because the thought was detailed and it flowed really nicely........start and middle just seemed to force with the vocab, which hurt your piece overall eph, cool piece, emotion at its purest here.....really felt it, nice ending too with the topic at hand.....and your imagery was good too which made this a great piece, especially in the 2nd verse.....overally, this was good, and nothing was really forced like triple's props to both though, both great writers, but eph has this one
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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05-30-05, 10:42 AM | #7 | ||
GG Haterz
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IP:
v- eph
Eph: I liked your approach on this topic. I wasn't sure how you would tie Beneath the Waves in with Grandpa which made me keep reading. Your emtion was good, and your imagery for the feelings was very nice. Overall, I think your flow, emotion, and imagery won this for you. NNN: Eh, not a bad approach of the topic, but nothing that kept me on the edge of my chair. Your vocab was ok, but your flow seemed really choppy to me. Your imagery was ok in the beginning, but began falling bout halfway through the verse. The multis helped your flow a little, but nothing that great. Overall nothing that great in this verse. I did like your emotion and the feeling of hopelessness and frustration.
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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05-31-05, 05:53 PM | #8 | |
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IP:
EPH wins .
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