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Old 06-16-05, 10:38 PM   #1
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
Posts: 1,102
Unhappy pour out the liquor PART I

IP:

one day, in tha past, not someday in tha future
i told my man cashman, if you run they gon shoot ya
talkin bout tha police, no need, to be deaseaced
or released from life, atleast not tonight, make peace
but he couldnt resist tha crime, now i miss tha times
smokin trees, joke and tease, as the girls walk by, lookin fine
he needed cash fast, rappin didnt cut it.. cuz he st-st-studdered
as he approached tha liquer store, and kicked tha door, he muttered
hand ova tha paper, before ya meet ya maker, im a life taker
for goodness sake' uh, he shoulda walked away, its safer
but he persisted to steal, he risked it for real, all on tha line
cops rolled up bout quarter passed nine, too late to survive
he ran out tha back door, fell, leg was fractured, kept runnin
ran into tha dark, heard tha bark, of the canines, then gunnin
cops rang out the sirens, and my man cash was dyin
im missin him, reminiscin and, thinkin of how he was jus tryin
to survive in a home, with no dough, no way to make it quicker
so for my homey cashman.. i pour out tha liquor.
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Old 06-16-05, 10:44 PM   #2
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Old 06-16-05, 11:26 PM   #3
wyteknyte
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From: boston (u.c.)
IP:

ayyo...dis shit 4 real...he was supposed to be in izno shady...if dis is tru we already lost a man...damn...dat sux...da ryme itself was nice...u got sum hot shit skip...chea..holla at me
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Old 06-16-05, 11:38 PM   #4
wyteknyte
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From: boston (u.c.)
IP:

ya..lol...prep...told me it was a joke...well anyways,,shit was nice...keep ritin dis shit...shits nice..hot fire...chea boi...izno shady gunna be well known one of theez days
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Old 06-18-05, 08:36 AM   #5
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IP:

yo man, thanks or tha props, uppin
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Old 06-18-05, 04:56 PM   #6
LADY_LYRICAL
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From: HERE THERE EVERYWARE
IP:

yep this wus sum hot ####.... keep doin ur thang an keep droppin

~1~

p.s .......... drop a reply to dis plz....... return d favour... tnx ~1~

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=195552 <-- clik link
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Old 06-19-05, 05:37 AM   #7
MADDRAPPER
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Yeh Felt This Saw It All Happened In My Head By The Way Are You Female Or What?
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Old 06-19-05, 01:09 PM   #8
Sick.
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nah son, ima dude, why??
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Old 06-19-05, 01:20 PM   #9
K-Trini
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From: N.Y./born in Trinidad
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Nice verse there homie.Flow was good throughout the whole verse.What would have made the verse better,in my opinion,was if ya described,in a little more detail,about what was goin through the guy's head before robbing the store.You stated his motives for doin it,but a sence of fear or confusion would have made it better.

Nice verse overall
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=195795
(^could ya hit me back with a vote in my battle homie?)
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Old 06-19-05, 01:25 PM   #10
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iight no doubt, nice to see some constructive critizism, thanks fam.. uppin
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Old 06-19-05, 10:14 PM   #11
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uupppin for more feed
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Old 06-20-05, 06:29 PM   #12
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uppin for some feed...
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Old 06-21-05, 08:51 PM   #13
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uppin............................................. ................
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Old 06-23-05, 09:04 PM   #14
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uppin this look out for PART II
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Old 06-27-05, 12:02 AM   #15
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uppin..........
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