on da 19...same as usual/
seeing the gheto views sum wat beautiful/
lookin out da window listenin to dead rong/
wat happened next culd be seen as dead rong/
cop pulled up beside da bus woop woop/
da sirens on the vehicle went woop woop/
kid runs out gets snagged by the po-po/
y this happened to this kid..i dont know/
"ladies and gentleman that kid had a gun/
he dropped it sumwhere now we gotta check everyone/
sadi da cop/
no 1 nu had a clu we culd have been popped got shot/
by a kid in a white sox cap wit his name on tha back/
skin was black/
i bet da cop nu dat/
cuz they showed how racust/
...they could be cuz 6 squad cars 2 paddy wagons wer around us/
i wouldnt have thought this could have happened on da bus this early/
on word b/ ya herd me/
all doze vehicles for just 1 kid bout 16/
didnt seem shady nor did he look mean/
no 1 woulda nu he was pakin heat if his mom didnt call da cops on him /
den followed him/ askin dis kid mad questions/
his intentions/
searched da hole bus and didnt find shit/
his moms was fooled he had already dropped it/
track changes to styles soul clap/
lady yellin wtf ima be late 4 work what's this crap/
"maam relax" as they checked my bag/
if dat kid was really strapped i coulda been body bagged/
....and as i got of the bus and got a betta look at this fool/
i noticed that me and him used to go to tha same school...

true story..happend today on da bus.....

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=192810

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boston
gats on da bus
the mic[/CENTER]

Yo Homie, U Made Da Same Mistake I Did!
Structuring Yo Rhymez & Seperating Them Wid /// <<

U Gott Do 1 Line
Then Press Enter
Like I Am
Right Now
Do U Feel?



on da 19...same as usual/
seeing the gheto views sum wat beautiful/

Lyke Dat Dawg, Good Lookin Tho Bro, Keep Yo Game Up & Keep Elevating, If U Need Anythin Scream@Ya'Boy...Pz Out, Deucez!

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gud looks...khaoz

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boston
gats on da bus
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yo KHAOZ How Do You Put Links In Ya Sig N With The Name N everything Withought The DIGITZ n Shyt Like that!Just the Name??Reply N tell me How!
lol N Yo Mayne Nice Piece Was Feelin It Got into It N shyt N Remindz me when I Went to School!but work on da structure N da Wordplay N you Will be All good!holla!

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teh flow was kind of off and i didn't like the story.
kind of boring when you just tell a story, you should
show every aspect, not just whats happening
then work on it from there, vocab..line content
metas' shit like that.
keep up.

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The structure was quite bad, but the story was good, you got a good flow, I like you, KUTGW, RTF on my OM "Faggot Ass bItches"

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www.soundclick.com/dollaback

need more feed back

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boston
gats on da bus
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i liked it kidd.. did that really happen or u jus usin imaginary shit.. but anyways i liked the story and some of the rhymes, flow was choppy but if it was audio it could be pulled off

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yea it happened

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boston
gats on da bus
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nicE story, StaND UP boston

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Join The Dynasty Today

offer criticism with softer rhythm// tower at my resident with the power of a president// veto polices if I see no qualities// my cousin is puzzling keep guzzling wines drunk all the time that junk not divine// watching Cox's cable thinking about marching him down to a detox stable//

old....but uppin

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boston
gats on da bus
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iight u told the story well.....as everyone else said work on ya structure....unless thats how u want it to be rread.....even though thats a bad way to read it....up on ur vocab...ur multis ur wordplay rhyme scheme and such.....try and make ur lines end at the same point still 6.5/10....keep postin and elevatin....1

wearing hats a must cats got gatts on this bus so driver pull over please some fool shot a glock just to show he rule the block don't understand that how nobody believes in hand-to-hand combat anymore