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06-25-05, 03:27 PM | #1 | ||
New to RV
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my household
IP:
I call it "my household" because each stanza is a different person in my household.idk what the rules or the criteria is for a poem, so idk if it really is a poem, but, here it is...
Approach my window, look and you will see what I see Go inside my mind, sleep and you will dream what I dream Progress through my history and you will leave a fiend Come into my household and you will never be without me Gaze upon her beauty she holds, you cannot see her defeat Born into a war zone, she is strong, you cannot be her relief Look upon her age, not a year, you cannot see what she will be Come into her household and you will never be without she Study his physical stature, you only believe what it seems Live days in his life, his needs, you only see what it means Work one hour at his job, you only beam what it redeems Come into his household and you will never be without he Listen when we talk, then you will see our love’s degree Pace when we walk, you will see the path from our feet Shout along when we fight, you will see our secret rivalry Come into our household and you will never be without we feedback? criticism? help? i'll return the favor
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Repping The Establishment Rhymes Story of a Statistic My Dream audio soundclick Art Surreal Bird Sketch |
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06-25-05, 05:19 PM | #2 | |
*Murder Was The Case*
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IP:
tis was ice, i like this. will edit with better feed.
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MURDER WAS THE CASE
MURDER WAS THE CASE |
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06-25-05, 07:35 PM | #3 | ||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP:
wow, good job on this poem, you set up the stanza's well and let us into a part of yourself in this piece, nice vocabulary and depth here, keep it up.1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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06-25-05, 08:05 PM | #4 | ||
New to RV
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IP:
thank u, i don't know much about what excatly a poem is like how it's formatted, but i'm taking ur words for it
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Repping The Establishment Rhymes Story of a Statistic My Dream audio soundclick Art Surreal Bird Sketch |
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06-26-05, 09:46 PM | #5 | ||
New to RV
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IP:
upping for feed... what does that mean, neway?
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Repping The Establishment Rhymes Story of a Statistic My Dream audio soundclick Art Surreal Bird Sketch |
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06-26-05, 09:48 PM | #6 | ||
Semper Fi
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IP:
You held it down....was really feeling it.Everything was on point........was on the deep side. You got talent girl and you sure worked it.8/10
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Project List The Classick Mixtape Vol (8/18) Age Of Consent Mixtape Vol 1(16/16) The Classick Album(2/16) S&S Express E.P.(1/10) Lot of back to back shit. Stay tuned. |
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06-27-05, 07:08 AM | #7 | ||
Ka.Nek.ShuN
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IP:
yeah this shit was tight girl, nice flow, nice emotion, nice structure the shit just went together.. werd.. nice ma!
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.::BattleZ::. |
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06-27-05, 12:29 PM | #8 | ||
...
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IP:
even though this was a very basic approach i thought that it was still very nice.. your choice of words was alright but i think you really show some potential ... fix your format some but besides that i think you really have a nice piece here
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time... I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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