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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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06-27-05, 01:02 AM
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#1
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Poet's Daughter.
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I gagg
IP:
Palms of fingers on my wind-pipe
Gag....gagg Sights of the devil eyes My eyes weeps with tears Gagg....Gagg Feeling so light headed Stopped struggling feeling so weak Gagg...Gagg My mouth wide open, air comes out Desperate for more air to come in Gagg...Gagg See scars on your face from my fingernails So deep, your blood Is what i taste in my mouth Gagg...Gagg My legs stop moving, hopeless like an loose leaf I want to breathe, but i can't..I want to see but i cant No gaggs...No gaggs My tongue is hanging out from my jaw... I taste the air..but my taste buds dont answer No Gaggs...No gaggs My body turning cold, my soul has been lefted Life I'm departed...Heaven I'm now in Quick key.........
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal:  ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-27-05, 01:12 AM
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#2
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Banned: Biting
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IP:
*will edit with feed*
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06-27-05, 01:32 AM
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#3
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...
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IP:
"I gagged" when i read this...you had a good idea but a terrible ioutput....my advice revamp it and up your vocab and play with your words...1/10 the 1 for effort sorta...jus being honest
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time...  I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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06-27-05, 01:38 AM
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#4
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP:
Uh k Like i said quick key...............Uppin...................
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-27-05, 01:45 AM
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#5
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP:
naw i didnt think it was that bad for a quik key,nice job on being creative,good idea here could of did more with it, kind of weird style but word it was decent,the imagery was decent, you had a little emotion,anyways this wasnt bad, but also wasnt great,It WAS A LITTLE ABOVE AVERAGE......7/10 not bad for a quik key.....
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Crhyme Sindicate
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06-27-05, 12:13 PM
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#6
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...
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IP:
Quote:
just exactly what are you smoking? crack? 7/10? please my 9 year old cousin could write something better than that... don't even give credit to it for being a quick key
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time... I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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06-27-05, 12:34 PM
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#7
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP:
Quote:
Uh.....ok.....Look you left a feed...Now bye....Everyone has different opinions.
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-27-05, 02:03 AM
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#8
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP:
Thanx Valor......................................Uppin
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-27-05, 02:57 AM
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#9
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Flyweight
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IP:
wanna topical tweety?
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06-27-05, 04:03 AM
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#10
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Ka.Nek.ShuN
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IP:
tweety, see valor agreed with me, its gud for a key, the idea, was gud like they all said, but u needed to come with more, but as u said it was a key and was gud for that, the emotion was cool, structure was a bit weird, your imagery was gud, i thought it was gud for a key, dont worry what the hater says.. werd.. uppin for this nice job..
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.::BattleZ::. |
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06-27-05, 07:47 AM
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#11
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP:
Thanx for the feedback uppin...........................
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-27-05, 10:35 AM
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#12
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Odi et Amo
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IP:
Aight, this was decent but I seen far better from you though. What's with the repetitive "gagg...gagg..." hehe. Nah but it's creative concept you went with here, emotion was definitely strongest aspect. Imagery was there but not too much though. Like your writing style, it's original and interesting. Keep it up girl! And rtf sexy
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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