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Old 07-21-05, 12:28 AM   #1
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
Posts: 2,765
From: inside your nightmare's
Monster Of The Night

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This peice is a mixture of poetry/topical.....

monster of the night

thy visciousness, destroys flesh at dawn
full moon by mourning, guts lay on the lawn
Cant visualize the inside of your eye lids
for if you dare shut your eyes, it shall come
eternally hunting your soul, without rest
your constantly stressed, heart pounding
listening for noises down stairs, as it creeps
waiting patiently teasing your mind to sleep

at times waking up sweating, hard to breath
because it's not visible for you to see
as it fondles your neck tightly with his paws
you pray and pray, is this a dream?
as the event unfolds, tugging with your mind
begging for mercy, upon your sad soul
as demons await from the under world
to where creatures lay restless
creeping around earth, leaving people headless

So ........
through every night, you sit awake
glancing at the door, clawing your sheets
as the night time creature, creeps the streets
at night preying upon young flesh
children disappearing, creating mysteries
but this will forever remain, an untold history
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Old 07-21-05, 12:33 AM   #2
Dabatos
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very good poem/topical lol.. very nice.. u had perfect word usage for this piece right here.. emotion was there... everything was in there man.. iono wut else to say?? jst ur good lol.. okay ur better at poems but im better at topicals .. ur cool.. but im cooler!!

man i luv that word!! "COOL!" lol
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Old 07-21-05, 12:48 AM   #3
Kawn Flixx
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This was a pretty good poem/Topical..i was really feeling it nice..short complex lines...good emotions ..and nice imagery..you had alot of feeling in your drop..good wordplay and vocab usuage...Overall it was a good drop..keep it up

And drop a link!
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Old 07-21-05, 12:55 AM   #4
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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From: inside your nightmare's
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Old 07-21-05, 01:13 AM   #5
TheLivinLegend
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From: South. Jasper TX South Quaters Block
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Tight concept if i ever wrote a good poem id be like this
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Old 07-21-05, 01:21 AM   #6
B. Magik
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From: STL
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good shit..................
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Old 07-21-05, 01:22 AM   #7
.Barz Of Steel.
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This was pretty good man...

Definetly not your best, but it was a solid drop. Emotion was good, but you couldve upped the vocab a little and made me feel it a bit more...Shit I dunno, its past my bedtime and I dont know what Im saying

Imagery was pretty dope, really no problem here...Just up your vocab a bit. I already consider you RV's best Poetry head and a top 3 Topical head, so there really isnt much left to prove on besides that vocab thing..

Pz
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Old 07-22-05, 12:19 AM   #8
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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From: inside your nightmare's
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thanx....upping this
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Old 07-23-05, 12:22 AM   #9
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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From: inside your nightmare's
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word.ness.to.- that
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Old 07-23-05, 12:37 AM   #10
Paranoid
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From: Sask, Canada
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nice shit, you need to start battling again man. really felt this shit, the stucture is good but what really got me was your flow that was tight i was actually flowin to a beat wit it, tight shit man nice n short lines good syllable count good choice of words nice imagery just wish it was longer but overall i was feelin it and thats the main point fuck rating you i dont do that shit but anyway good as fuck

reppin 04 ya know.

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