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Old 10-28-05, 02:03 PM   #1
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
More

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Molded creatures
Covered by crimson blossoms
Perfectly pure
Melting together as one
One motion, one passion
Pouring out all we have
From the depths of our being
United at last
In this wild jungle
Of temptation
Where lust soars
And faith fades
We found each other
In our purest form
Vulnerable
Yet oh so beautiful
In the midst of darkness
We brought fire
In the midst of blistering cold
We brought heat
In the midst of hatred
He brought love

Bring me more



Links:

Dead Weight by ~Eire~
Stressful days by ~lextownkillaz~
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Old 10-29-05, 09:03 PM   #2
killin time
New to RV
 
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that was a good drop the vocab could have been better but over all i like it good drop
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Old 11-02-05, 10:13 PM   #3
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
Posts: 2,765
From: inside your nightmare's
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actually a nice freeverse piece,the emotion was beautiful drama q,the imagery i felt was powerful i mean it's a imagery so quiet but also strong because it expresses alot beautifully,the vocab was average i was really fond of this piece...
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Old 11-03-05, 08:52 AM   #4
Its a me.. Mario
Bone is gay.
 
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What up DQ aint been around in awhile finaly dropin pieces again :-D

I really liked this piece DQ... Could relate to it... dunno if it was something you wrote from yourself or not but it was really good... imagery was there but it wasnt... barely felt but yet strong... i enojoyed your freeverse.. this was beautifully written... your vocab could have been uppedbut in this piece its not really needed everything works for itself... Really nice piece here babe...
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Old 11-03-05, 01:51 PM   #5
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
Posts: 1,102
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i really liked this.. it was so simple yet so in depth
i cant really describe what i liked about it.. it just seemed
like everything you said was so personal and rich with
emotion, wich makes for much better poetry.. props
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Old 11-03-05, 02:12 PM   #6
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
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Thank you for the feedback everyone...

Sad to say I wrote this for my boyfriend and before I got the chance to show it to him...he dumped me...

Oh well, it's all good
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Old 11-03-05, 03:03 PM   #7
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
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aww you poor baby lol
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Old 11-03-05, 03:38 PM   #8
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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From: Alosta City
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Oh well

His loss
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Old 11-03-05, 04:03 PM   #9
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
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i wish youd write me a poem *wink wink*
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Old 11-03-05, 04:41 PM   #10
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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From: Alosta City
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Haha

Consider it done!
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Old 11-03-05, 05:49 PM   #11
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
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gotta love this girl
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Old 11-04-05, 11:49 AM   #12
Lil C
Middle Weight
 
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From: Detroit
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:Ogood piece right here.........imagery was awesome......vocab coulda been worked on but it was cool othawise....uhm u know all da otha shit.....good piece DQ...keep up da good work...n we gotta do a collab sometime
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Old 11-04-05, 12:17 PM   #13
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
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Yeh hit me up bout a collab ma
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Old 11-06-05, 02:38 AM   #14
King Solo
Skadoosh!
 
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Nice piece DQ.

I was liking the imagery in the piece, overall it was nice. The vocabs you used weren't overly complex, but I think that added to your piece in a way. A lot of people cram complexity into their drops to enforce their emotion and imagery, you came quite simple and yet your imagery and emotion were kept strong. 7/10.
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Old 11-08-05, 07:00 PM   #15
Poetics
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 124
From: T.O
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DQ, amazing poem, simplistic, yet thhough provoking..simply great...imagery in all...i just joined the site..and y'all im stuggling as to how i can post poems..start battles...both voiceand writen...any help!
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