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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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I Chill in Asylums
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Death Is Coming For Me
IP:
Death Is Coming For Me
I cant sleep anymore hearin many peeps thru the doors tryin to creep i pray to the Lord hopin He'll keep 'em ashore tryin to fight but it feels like im being held down by hellhounds dynamite blows im in hell now everything seems spellbound when will they come for me will they get me in my sleep they kill, run, and soar thru storms buryin people in the deep my eyes close and i see visions of my death nothin left disposed by ghosts and evil incisions that cut my breath im gettin worried so i scurry and lock the place down lettin my emotions be hurried and u see it on my face now i hear 'em talkin while they walkin right outside my door lookin like they stalkin me waitin to fight and create gore they're made of confusion,death,darkness,and insanity and it gets to me,my head startin to hurt and im usin profanity the room is spinnin,cant walk straight im losin my balance i kno the dooms winnin this is fate, in need of an ambulance stumblin down the hall and now the walls crumble with blood fumblin myself i fall in a corner,heart beats is faster than a flood cowerin in fear the room is fillin with ice, so cold, no control try to gain power but its killin so nice it slices my bold soul my body folds and seperates from my soul,i just sit and stare they robbed me and it escalated they came and i wasnt prepared i felt dark and insane energy from their glare makin me wither stark and plain they took my soul from the air then they slithered away while i sat crouched on the floor in the corner disabled never movin the position stayed slouched my wrist was labeled and tagged wrapped like a hospital patient it said "soul 53-490-37" and never knew what happened to my soul but i hope it went to heaven Links :http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2558166 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...189#post2558189 |
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Coming to Kill you All
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IP:
Well...good peice here.I really liked the beginning,where your rhyme scheme was fluid and the content seemed cleaner.Near the end,or middle...you seemed to slip tho.Multis and everything were gone really,and you started to rely on a basic scheme.
So,yea..next time just be more consistant.. good peice overall. 1 |
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