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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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12-11-05, 09:49 PM
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#1
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The Paragraph President
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Smile For Me - Paranoid
IP:
Yea just a lil track on a tupac beat. and leave links yall.
www.soundclick.com/Paranoid05 LINKS: http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2572367 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2572357
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Last edited by Paranoid : 12-11-05 at 10:01 PM. |
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12-11-05, 09:59 PM
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#2
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Light Weight
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IP:
i always loved this beat..ehhh u pretty much talkin over the beat make sure ta add alot more emotion...lol u aint pathetic but i think u gotta prove a lil more that u got personailty....in a way u kinda sound like snoop dogg
 ....ur lyrics are ight..but u defitnly need ta get off that one syllable shit..u started rhymin "pass" wit "class"....u need some work ta do but otherwise this song was just ight only felt some parts of it and some u need ta work on....yo take this critism and make good use of it  ...peace |
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12-12-05, 12:13 AM
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#4
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On The Air - COMIN JAN 07
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IP:
ha i did a remix too this song before and it got 250 downloads a while ago.....lol i remember it liek it was yesterday...
Production  ne of my fav. beats i've ever heardFlow:your flow was aight...you got down ridin the beat tho Emotion:you need too learn how too put more emotion into ya song and actually mean what your sayin sounds like ya just readin it Pressense:Somthing u really lack .......i mean the only ttight parts on this song is the hook and beat......keep workin tho... overall:you got lots of workin too do man..but u got potential..keep droppin those tracks man...:6/10 |
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12-12-05, 02:33 AM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP:
ur lyrics are aight u just need to Work on ur flow u rap like how i used 2 ahaha and thaz not a compliment try hard kid
Ayo get at me!!! and Return the FAVOR to my track!!!!! http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=216858
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 Get At Em' 
Last edited by Bliss : 12-12-05 at 11:09 AM. Reason: link |
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12-12-05, 10:22 AM
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#6
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OYD
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IP:
I love ur voice...
hot mic quality needs to be upped though flow was kinda choppy... man...all I kept hearin was Pacs flawless flow on this...U shudda just mirrored his flow track needs work 1 |
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12-12-05, 06:05 PM
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#7
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The Paragraph President
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IP:
yea I should have ay, I thought pac sounded wierd though on his first verse though.
but is cool thanks. uppin
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12-13-05, 03:54 PM
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#8
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Artist, that simple
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IP:
Beat choice is really good, some west coast flavor into it.
Good way to introduce the song. But you need a whole lot more emotion. In your verses, you was very monotone, which only works on more dreary beats. Your vocab is pretty decent, but your delievery is simple. You can only pull off simple flows when you add more emotion into your words. Try when you rap that your not just making a song, but your making a point to those who are listening the song. Overall, decent track, but up your emotion big time. 7/10
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Grim |
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12-16-05, 08:15 PM
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#9
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The Paragraph President
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IP:
yea thanks man,
uppin. and remember your friendly paranoid says "leave links" ahh idk im high.
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12-17-05, 10:36 PM
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#10
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FuxJustAWord
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IP:
i wanted to use this beat
anyways....... u had good flow and ok presence...... pretty decent lyrics everything is really comin together EXCEPT Emotion..... where the fuck is it???? ur half dead/half asleep on this track... which will leave me sleepin on u until u improve that...... u cant expect me to feel wat ur sayin if ur not puttin any feelin into it overall decent track |
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12-20-05, 11:06 PM
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#11
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The Paragraph President
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IP:
well thanks, I'm workin on that emotion shit.
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