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Old 01-08-06, 04:43 PM   #1
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
Throwing It Right Back

IP:

yo, i'm....
i'm throwing knives at the axis of the world
demanding answers to my questions that were never heard
my only rifle is for the future thats rightfully ours
because i'm saving all my shots for the stars

a broken world, kept in-line by thieves and crooks
its the same scene over, when i'd rather read the book
of a giant foot, in a mouth that has the munchies
and its so far in, its booting foreigners from the country
using tax payers as funding, riding nude on saddled mules
and only being fueled by needless feuds handling fuel
but what to do, who really cares what i'm feeling?
the only barrel i have, i need it to sleep in
i'm not waving my gun, shooting independence bullets
too many trigger fingers, getting their friends to pull it
there's no justice without a just cause
right from the shelf? but they're the ones who broke the vase
and who's suppose to govern the ones who make the laws
its sad when you know everyones clapping but its not applause

so im....
i'm throwing knives at the axis of the world
demanding answers to my questions that were never heard
my only rifle is for the future thats rightfully ours
because i'm saving all my shots for the stars


i've been dreaming of this day before life was granted
when i roll away the dice and take my chances
stand up, make a charge for freedom
say 'i'll fight for it' and actually mean it
not being stuck in a debate wheather we should go to war
but debate on why the hell we even have it for
i wouldn't doubt it if that act is treason
im still waiting for the day they put a tax on breathin
in any season, i'll bring my reign down in the heart of winter
make my crown from this whittled worlds discarded splinters
i figure i'm that one clever mouse who finds the cheese in the maze
never looking to the other rats, chewing their way
so theres no need to mass massive ranks, unsheated swords
believing in a leader trying to even an already even score

so i'm....
i'm throwing knives at the axis of the world
demanding answers to my questions that were never heard
my only rifle is for the future thats rightfully ours
because i'm saving all my shots for the stars
__________________________________________

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219058
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=219068
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Last edited by Drakel : 01-08-06 at 05:24 PM.
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Old 01-08-06, 09:57 PM   #2
Adam
 
Posts: 13,383
From: Canada
IP:

I'll throw knifes at your face.

Good OM.
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Old 01-08-06, 10:59 PM   #3
Valerie
Can u guess 2v's Gender?
 
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IP:

Nice drop fam.
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Old 01-09-06, 02:34 PM   #4
Tech (banned)
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 535
From: Long Beach
IP:

Nice Shirt Homie......This Had Good Flow, Nice Vocab And It Was Enjoyabel To Read. The Whole Concept Was Nice And You Hook Was Nicely Done As Well Drakel......Keep It Up Homie.
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Old 01-09-06, 11:57 PM   #5
Shady Lady
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 25
From: Miami, Fl
IP:

i really liked you topic and the hook was real nice as well. i think you got real good talen, i've read your other open mic which was real nice. hopin to see some more from you.
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Old 01-10-06, 08:20 AM   #6
Lil C
Middle Weight
 
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Posts: 511
From: Detroit
IP:

HOLY SHIT! anotha one bites da dust! lol just messin.....damn pa GOOD OM here....def was feelin dis ALL DA WAY thru.....good vocab; i think da hook was da best part(my opinion).....neways good piece AGAIN...keep up da work pa...1
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Old 01-10-06, 03:36 PM   #7
NeFisTo
iLL-Literate
 
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IP:

Nice drop..

i've been dreaming of this day before life was granted
when i roll away the dice and take my chances

depth in that right there.
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Old 01-11-06, 03:12 PM   #8
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

thanks man
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Old 01-11-06, 06:52 PM   #9
Willa
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
 
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Posts: 5,114
IP:

flow was good vocab was really good
you took a played topic and wrote about drakel
most ppl jsut say what they see or hear on the news
you smpoke ur mid and used alot fo metaphores
you made a piece that would have been verrrrry boring interesting
props o nthsi piece and the creativity
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Old 01-12-06, 11:58 PM   #10
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

thanks
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Old 01-13-06, 12:10 AM   #11
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

i wouldn't doubt it if that act is treason
im still waiting for the day they put a tax on breathin


Realist lines you've ever dropped.

Concept wasnt too bad, which creates reason for the emotion... as to why you wrote it. Some people talk, some people do. I hate fake people. Flow was fairly good, vocab small. However the overall message outweighs your flaws in my opinion. Not your best drop ever... but a damn good relayinto your train of thought bro.

Keep it up.

Peace.
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Old 01-16-06, 04:48 PM   #12
SlicKnife
Middle Weight
 
Posts: 454
From: England
IP:

Very good....

Great emotion throughout this, it has a great message, basically it is a real piece - nicely constructed, some very good lines (like the one Mentalz quoted)...flow was very good...I cant emphasise how much you can feel your emotion in this....but overall this was very good....

Stay Up
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Old 05-16-06, 08:45 AM   #13
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

word, i like this om
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Old 05-16-06, 02:31 PM   #14
scanz
-da prophit-
 
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Posts: 497
From: south miami.
IP:

word... doctor. u havent droped somethin in awhile and to come back and drop something like this i am impressed. nice topic. u had some multies and flow was good. creativty is all there nice imagry. word not saying its ur best piece but good drop. hopefuly ill see a couple more soon.
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