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Old 01-12-06, 06:29 PM   #1
Crazy Hades
Just searching.
 
Posts: 6,015
The Crumbling Kingdom

IP:

Here’s a document, buried under the meaningless memoirs of humanity.
An inkling of truth can’t fit through the clogged minds of normal sanity.
Made by a sage that’s undeniably wise, who prophecized a striking scythe,
and spilt is the blood of our geniuses, leaking through the slits of her eyes.
She raises her arms to the skies and screams --- “Accept mother time…”
And cries and cries until the cloud seams rip so dreary rain can join her,
before she collapses on the foyer to our mind.

Remorseless, this ethereal epitome of manifest destiny is the daughter of earth,
and it’s the right of birth for it to be accepted, not thrown with the worms,
who writhe around in the dirt, but at least those aren’t nearly as cumbersome,
and they even manage to survive by themselves until spring and summer come.

This paper’s still under the memoirs, of the history told by second-hand views,
of those who never even offered their hands for a second…not even just a few,
And chew on their cheeks, relying on the same strategy every single week,
They don’t realize the meaningless tragedy overshadowing those who seek,
the wisdom of eternity, and wrap their hands around fathomless chances…
dismissing the silliness as a chilliness falls over the tomb of manliness.
Maybe one day our brain’ll surrender its weapons, yet refuses to fall victim,
Now it declines the opportunity to shun conformity,
a dark culture that corrupts and sickens.

It’s maiming the social fabric, and I’ve had it, as I watch you
badmouth your fellow man, follow bloodshed, I stick to this document.
Mankind sadly can not understand the constitution, or
look upon the modern world to see the shock of it.
Society holds on to the notion that the aristocracy of originality is heinous,
Ignorance refuses to follow history and be only an ancient kingdom,
As the lack of knowledge tends to be painless.
Someday, the kingdom of idiocy will crumble, as that’s what fate is.

Last edited by Indeph : 01-15-06 at 03:02 PM.
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Old 01-12-06, 09:38 PM   #2
lil S
Light Weight
 
Posts: 201
From: La Crosse
IP:

i liked this drop but it was a little hard to read and follow but your ryme scheme was alright lerics whernt nothing great but all together was an alright drop keep on dropping and i'll keep replying but hey if you get the chance can you chek out my om at 16 you know return the favor tell me what i can work on and what i need help wit well keep elevating playa play on
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Old 01-12-06, 09:46 PM   #3
Crazy Hades
Just searching.
 
Posts: 6,015
IP:

o_O I'm just going to take into consideration you didn't even read it, or you didn't comprehend it.
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Old 01-12-06, 09:47 PM   #4
lil S
Light Weight
 
Posts: 201
From: La Crosse
IP:

welll i don't know i just couldn't get in to it my bad braw no hate
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Old 01-12-06, 09:55 PM   #5
Crazy Hades
Just searching.
 
Posts: 6,015
IP:

I use advanced vocab, word. But it fits, people just think I use to much, when I use it for the sake of imagery and to show my emotion more. Sometimes, 'macabre' works better than 'gory'.
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Old 01-13-06, 12:04 AM   #6
Mentalz
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Don't fret robotic waffle.They say the same thing to me.

The message I got from this was apparant in my opinion. The moto: "Ignorance is Bliss" covers it in short. Insight into the minds of those who refuse to accept the train of thought, thought to be inferior to the observer is remarkably on point, sadly.

Though the structure was stretched, as I tend to do sometimes... It doesnt hinder the flow at all like some people like to think. Your vocab wasnt even that complex, which leads me to think the above poster didnt read it, as apposed to the other reality.

Nice drop robot. Keep it up.
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Old 01-13-06, 04:10 PM   #7
Crazy Hades
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Posts: 6,015
IP:

I am the jesus. I didn't write on a topic for once, I was just ventin' some emotions.
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Old 01-13-06, 04:16 PM   #8
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

look at me, im bonecollector "leave 2 links", haha

but seriously
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Old 01-13-06, 04:22 PM   #9
Crazy Hades
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Posts: 6,015
IP:

But seriously, suck my cock.
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Old 01-13-06, 04:47 PM   #10
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Hades
But seriously, suck my cock.


no man, this was gay
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Old 01-13-06, 04:54 PM   #11
Crazy Hades
Just searching.
 
Posts: 6,015
IP:

No man, suck my dock.

^^^^^^^^
That's what I meant, it was a typo.
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Old 01-13-06, 05:55 PM   #12
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

like i told you on aim, this was good, very insightful and, uhh, deep...mainly because there is alot of ignorance in the world, and you exposed it vividly, good passion in your writing, you've elevated helluva lot since the days you first started...and i look forward to you dropping some more, keep up my little man

ps, i liked the worm part, and the ending, good stuff
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Old 01-14-06, 05:46 PM   #13
Germ
in your system
 
Posts: 7,619
From: Adanac
IP:

2 links or i'm closing this.
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Old 01-15-06, 12:47 PM   #14
Method
 
 
Posts: 147
IP:

Dude great piece here man. I enjoyed it before I even read it, because the topic looked so interesting and mind boggling, that i HAD to read it. The vocabulary here was sick and very complex, but at the same time i could understand it unlike others. I clearly got the message that you sent out, and now that I read your work, I want to read more. So keep dropping so i can see more masterpieces. Please hit my OM, Ashes of Life.
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Old 01-15-06, 01:58 PM   #15
Indeph
Not_Indeph
 
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From: Chicago, IL
IP:

Closed roboticwaffle.. pm me the links and I'll reopen this.
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