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Old 02-20-06, 11:35 PM   #1
Indeph
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From: Chicago, IL
Dynomite (Indeph)

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http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222433
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222730

I dunno.. I was listenin' to Nas's project windows and felt like writing a verse.. gime feed, 1st drop in a while.




Dynomite


Today...... I have decided, to minus the time with
the dynomite, lets travel to where the fire ignited..
and arrive in the past, and try to see if kindness'll work..
but get shot in the eye from behind a year prior my birth..
they will call me a liar, no one will admire my words.. and...
the quior's not reachin the kids, and I'm tired of sermans..
so many statements being said without the proper knowledge
colleges expensive and we got oscar nominated politicians
if you follow this, you probably have been swallowin feelins
of knowing you smarter then alot of these kids, bottled it in
wallowin in disgust, with hallow spirits, stayin optomistic
when you know damn well you gotta problem with it......
kids with buyin ice, sellin white, with refer investments..
we got greed and poverty, so what if neither compresses?
The dynomite's kissin the fire, wyfe beaters injected..
the wick's losin height, waitin for a finger to press it...


Ok cool and stuff.

I love you.

Last edited by ◄Indeph◄ : 02-20-06 at 11:41 PM.
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Old 02-20-06, 11:48 PM   #2
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you skipped a line in your flow, so it got choppy...the part with knowledge, read it agai and you'll see. but this was good, i get those moments as well, when you wanna write a verse due to a song. good overall, nice vocab and some good rhyming. rtf homie in my OM tears of ink
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Old 02-20-06, 11:49 PM   #3
Indeph
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That knowledge line was a semi rhyme and it carried on to the next line.

And I'll def hit it up now.
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Old 02-21-06, 12:22 AM   #4
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oh ok, so how you like my new name?
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Old 02-21-06, 12:29 AM   #5
Indeph
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Rofl


Yeah it be illy.
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Old 02-21-06, 12:32 AM   #6
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why thank you, i knew you'd think that.....we should be in the depth crew.....def
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Old 02-21-06, 08:24 PM   #7
H.D.
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hmmmm I liked it... though it was kinda short... nice vocab selection... got the idea across... not overly emotional... good shit... keep doing you
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Old 02-21-06, 09:07 PM   #8
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I didn't read it... Why? Cus I already know how you do it... in OM's only. :O
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Old 02-21-06, 11:35 PM   #9
I Am Unreal.
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Flow wasn't too big of an issue, seemed more of a poetic type piece so flow isn't nessesarily a large factor... I thought that this verse was extremely good. Had imagary and emotion throughout, the dynamite was a good way of ending it off with emotion - showing that the problem has only just begun.. nice work .

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...407#post2666407
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Old 02-22-06, 02:05 AM   #10
Ysdat
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I love you
and arrive in the past, and try to see if kindness'll work..
but get shot in the eye from behind a year prior my birth..


dopness
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Old 02-22-06, 05:10 PM   #11
Black City
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very dope drop...although i feel you should drop another full track (audio or text)...but dis is whats up...nice vocab, wordplay, and a fuckin semi-rhyme! i love dat shit yo...RTF on my shit please, link in sig yo...easy
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Old 02-22-06, 06:13 PM   #12
Germ
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Today...... I have decided, to minus the time with
the dynomite, lets travel to where the fire ignited..
The dynomite's kissin the fire, wyfe beaters injected..
the wick's losin height, waitin for a finger to press it

short but sweet, well written, could've been touched up here and there, but whatever, you probly did it quick ....thought those were the best 4 lines, just happened to be the most important ones, good job man, keep up
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Old 02-22-06, 06:30 PM   #13
Kawn Flixx
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Damn dephy this was really good short and sweet , you had lovely emotions and very good feeling i was really feeling it , your wordplay and vocab usuage was mediocre but it was very well written which really covered up for it .. but overall very short but good drop.. next time hit me up so we can do a collabo.

pz.
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