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Old 01-10-07, 10:30 PM   #1
Jay Rose
I don't lose
 
Posts: 1,686
Arrow I Try....deeper kinda track

IP:

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well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're fucking high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead


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Old 01-10-07, 10:39 PM   #2
Jay Rose
I don't lose
 
Posts: 1,686
IP:

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3134058
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...t=239064&page=2


there u go sorry i did it the bum way this time but yea tell me what yall think
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well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're fucking high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead


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Old 01-11-07, 12:06 AM   #3
Willa
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
 
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you sound nasally like your sick
lyrically its cool
uhm wtf jsut happened
it got to the hunger is comin
and shut off lol
what i heard was cool though
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Old 01-11-07, 04:46 AM   #4
P To Tha R!
The Most Feared Gang!
 
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Posts: 1,163
From: Brooklyn, NYC
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Listenin'..

word at this beat, shit is real hot...sample gives you a feeling..you're on...

soundin like a second Tito...flow seems to me off in some places, emotion is on the dot..that's good..delivery is decent..flow is way off 1/2 the time..lyrics is real talk...

this is cool, Ive heard better..I mean emotion is right..but flow to me is off half the time, lyrics is good, n delivery is str8..so wrk on that flow there..holla back..-1-..
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Old 01-11-07, 09:19 AM   #5
Ex Calibur
New to RV
 
Posts: 45
From: [HOF]
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Beat Is Kinda Cool, ... Lyrics Are Nice, ... Haha Dope Sample, .... Like The Dude Above Said The Flow Fell Off At Points, ... But Other Then That This Was A Coo Track, Keep It Up Fam ,... `1
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Old 01-11-07, 07:02 PM   #6
Jay Rose
I don't lose
 
Posts: 1,686
IP:

uppin for more opinions and suggestions
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well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're fucking high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead


  Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-07, 09:45 PM   #7
Tha .Q
I'm Talented.Period.
 
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From: MD
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I like the beat...nice

ur rhyming was slick

and everything sounded pretty good


keep it up



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