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Old 05-09-03, 11:48 PM   #1
Eviley
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Posts: 332
To: Alex

IP:

why can't you understand i have an issue
it's hard for you to believe but i'm starting to miss you
i want to hug you and i even want to kiss you
your stained in my mind like tears on a tissue
to you it may feel like i was here to diss you
but it's not true
a care about you
you don't know what you put me through
you have me turning blue
as though i am sickwith the flu
going on with life waiting to see you


You don't know the feelings i have
or what i have planned
i miss the word sand
i don't understand
i want you to know it's not the end
that's all i can say that's all i can send

you think i'm not over here imagining your innocent stare
i think of it cause i can't bare
i'm starting to dare to care

i feel like i am starting to forget
everything we did everything you said
i'm sorry for hurting you i'm sorry for what i did

i didnt mean to i just wanted to keep you safe
away from hurt away from pain
but i caused it anyway,i made you go insane
please forgive me i'm still the same
and when you called to see me i still came
don't be mad at yourself it's me you can blame

it's may feel like my heart is on the run
but you moved me from darkness to sun
from saddness to fun
so back soon Alex cause i miss you a ton

~*~











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Old 05-10-03, 12:01 AM   #2
PleDge
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hey man.. i fell like i can talk to ya on a personal level afta ya spat that shit.....goin thru some tough shit maself so a feel ya....a hope ya get him back fo sho gurl...wit all ma heart

peep ma shit *cant take it no mor*
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Old 05-10-03, 12:08 AM   #3
Jackmioff
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I Hate Reading This Kind Of Shit.. Sorry It's Nothin Personal. I Just Don't Like Reading Shit Like This. It's Like I'm In Ya Problem.. Ahh Fuck It.. Peep My Keystyle.

Sorry For Being Like That.. But I Can't Give You Feed Back. I'll I Could Say Is............... Holla.lol
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Old 05-10-03, 12:12 AM   #4
Maven
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Posts: 2,119
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I liked this because it was simplicity at it's best. It's always good to elevate,and I suggest you do(vocab, multis etc) but it's nice to read a verse without all that. It's cool because it's the definition of rap; rhyming words comveying thoughts and feelings. An abridged version of it anyway. Nice work, but elevating wouldn' hurt.
Check my piece "My Beautiful One"
Peace
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Old 05-10-03, 12:17 AM   #5
Bash
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From: BronX
IP:

Jack shut da fuck up niggA , , , Eviley dont checkout jack's keystyle , , , ,, anywayz Eviley u didnt need vocab in this drop because its a soft drop , , , it came from ur heart so u didnt need vocab , , , ,,, i liked ur flow , u simplicity was da greatest thing about this drop , , , , keep spittin
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Old 05-10-03, 12:32 AM   #6
Eviley
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Posts: 332
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I am sorry you feel that way Jack maybe if you expand your horizons a little you will understand.....and thanz bash,understatement,and pledge i appreciate your comments

Pe@cE 'N' LuV to all of you
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Old 05-10-03, 01:36 AM   #7
Bloomquist
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i dont care waht ya'll think eviley did her thing it was a good keystyle.
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Old 05-10-03, 05:48 AM   #8
Atetrack define'
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this shits turingin into a story ya know,you an alex,im guessin its sand nahmean...shits turing into a damn album haha,but its all good,i can tell it has meaning,and im enjoying reading this shit,its like unfolding righ tin front of cats and noones noticing...i hope everythin turns out aiight with it nahmean...
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Old 05-10-03, 12:13 PM   #9
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
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lol. you dont even know how happy
reading this made me eva...thank you
i love you a lot. i really hope to see
you soon. .......



i love you
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Old 06-02-03, 02:22 AM   #10
Kosta
Sand
 
Posts: 1,572
IP:

i was happy then^

fuck i wish i can find
a girl like eva again...
i doubt it...

your still the most
beautiful thing in the
universe .... sweetie
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Old 06-02-03, 12:07 PM   #11
DaviD WoRdplay
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why don't you replying to other peoples open mics instead of posting up 3 threads.....
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Old 06-02-03, 12:12 PM   #12
Genetikz
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tight drop was feelin it fosure,,, peep ma drop the one i luve our story...
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Old 06-02-03, 12:32 PM   #13
artifacts
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this was a tight drop.....alot of repetition and it was kinda hard to read all the way till the end...and i didn't find a line that really really stood out to me...my favorite line would be:

i feel like i am starting to forget
everything we did everything you said
i'm sorry for hurting you i'm sorry for what i did

i'd say 6/10 overrall nice drop





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Old 06-05-03, 02:32 AM   #14
Eviley
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thank you to all of your imput
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