thumps in ballistic-clouds, and then mystic-shroud//
a feudalistic-crowd with power from autistic-mouths//
facing the strange-emergent this deranged-insurgent//
his nervous smile-divergent feeling hostile-with-urgence//
he observes flickering dances of flames wasting their chances//
and others so powerful he only risks dareing glances//
he becomes superior to some as his knowledge advances//
and while he strives to learn his thirst for anger enhances//
this stage brings new feelings but also washed up memories//
reminiscant of times his mind was locked in ebony//
to protect from past emotion, occurences never forgotten//
contrasting with a family life pure as silky cotton//
revenge is compulsory and not only an ambition//
his mind's on a vengeful mission without accepting admonition//
fresh with ammunition he sets off on expedition//
half-way wishing these scarlet visions were merely apparition//
victims diseased although he pleads with his heart and mind for peace//
darkness released into his veins, and he learns the evil will not cease//
a piece of him has shattered; a part deleted all in vain//
love, warmth, and friendship gone; it's driving him insane//
with this pressure from all angles his soul clutches for breaths//
he joins his victims willingly and exposes his body to death//

Uppin dont sleep peep's

eyo ADDLiB that was fareal too dope .... i was really feelin it - fashow kid

keep at it ... i love your play on words and i especially like the line

a piece of him has shattered; a part deleted all in vain//
love, warmth, and friendship gone; it's driving him insane//

that was too dope

return da fava and hit my poem up "for years to come"

da hunnet son

^Thanx^

Uppy

This Was Ill Shit Man..The Wordplay Was Incredible Man...Keep Droppin Hott Ish

Could You Return Tha Favor And Reply To "Alone"

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This is a dope sig.

Thanx ^^^ Upps

Upp

Dam yall's like to sleep on pieces
that took a lot of hard work

upp

DAMN really sick shit dawg Addlib Nice creative..................drop

WUn

peep mine

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=58416

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I can see this took a lot of work. This peice is also one of those that go way over my head. As in, I have trouble understanding what is being said. But I think I understand what you saying in it. About a man killing others and himself. Anyway, it's something spectacular that you wrote.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

Simply brilliant, libb.

Superb Imagery. Vocab used so well. Structured well. Can't see any flaws.

It's a very fine tuned piece, full of raw yet well c hanneled power.

..resp...

^Thanx All For the feeback.

-one love-

on the real i thought that this was some ill ass shit kid no doubt this was deep as hell keep up son
one

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shut the fuck up

even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun

dead in middle of little of little italy
little did we know that we riddle
some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun

Upps

very impressive...the vocabs are very well writtten....the word play was awesome..they were well-used on this piece.....the flow definitely fits the whole concept of it....

a breakdown of it would be really good but for some reason my hands are soo tire of typing so maybe on ur other upcoming piece i will...

definitely a very good one...i liked it

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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>