I woke up to see the clouds over head FORMING
DRAWING back my curtains to see just another MORNING
HUMMING to myself as I get washed and ready for what lies AHEAD
DREAD from the possible news of my older brothers DEATH but BLESSED
That the emperor has decided to slow done on this WAR
NO MORE could I take another death in a battle there is no NEED FOR
We can’t fight MORE this fighting has left our capital’s spirit RAW
And It’s only a matter of days before our nation will finally FALL
Outside I help my mother in preparing the divine emperor’s SUPPLIES
Our city has been lucky as it is out of where the MAIN TARGETS LIE
The humidity of the day has left us all SWEATING
CHECKING my little brother I move on to the NEXT THING
The setting is unusual the birds seem to have DISAPPEARED
With the sound of engines I see that something in the sky has APPEARED
Through a hole in the clouds I can see something FALLING
DRAWING my attention it seems to take hours…
I can’t see, this power is so IMMENSE
My skin is burning the heat is so INTENSE
I SENSE the death of many but the air is too DENSE
Looking down I see the skin of my BODY MELT
What I FELT is something I cannot understand why I have been DEALT
I scream as I see my bones underneath the exposed MUSCLE
The screams in the BUSTLE
Children melted onto the walls my mind is in a MUDDLE
I cant move as my feet are melted to the FLOOR
The death of my family and this pain is too much to ENDURE
Through the darkness I can see the shape of a MUSHROOM
The devil has arrived I try shouting to everyone that they MUST MOVE
I cant find the air my mouth is full of BLOOD
I’ve had ENOUGH I can no longer see the human LOVE
Up in the sky I can see THE BLACK RAIN FALLING
It’s burning my eyes I can hear the OTHER SIDE CALLING
This morning everything had seemed like a time of CHANGE
But I cannot understand why the demons would give us so much PAIN
The last visions from my eye sight are depictions from the true meanings of HELL
Our brothers FELL in battle but this punishment on us makes our bodies SWELL
I fall down in hope that these poison winds bring CHANGE
STRANGE how it takes human suffering for society to break from IT'S CHAINS
My peoples NAMES shall only die to be forgotten in TIMES FLOW
As the MINDS GROW we begin to see what those up HIGH KNOW
We bear this PAIN so that it shall never be inflicted AGAIN
The HATE among peoples is an emotion which will eventually be SLAIN….

Aight hit me up with some constructive criticism I will not reply to your thread if you give me some shitty one liners! Peace!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0904#post600904

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=62639

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...0910#post600910

Oneliner: This was Tight, Peep My Shit Back!

Lol, Just J/k...

You Had a Killa Concept, Don't Think Anyone Has Done A Piece On Hiroshima Before, Although Don't Put All The Rhyming Words LIKE THIS, You Know!

The Flow Was Aight, But Was A Little Choppy In Some PLaces, You tried To Put Multis in: Up in the sky I can see THE BLACK RAIN FALLING
It’s burning my eyes I can hear the OTHER SIDE CALLING, Which Helped The Flow Alot!

Expand Your Vocab, It Was A Little Too Basic, Some People Say That EXpanded Vocab Is Confusing, But To Me It Shows That You Spent Time On The piece, NOt Just Using 3 Letter Words, You KNow?

Overall:7/10, Could Have Improved It A Bit, But It Was Still A Aight Piece!

that was tight drop man...'ll edo whatcha said an try an get a better content an up myt vocab check out my nice drop peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

thaz good man

im going with Rythmic sed....

and plus havin some1 dropin some shit bout Hiroshima is pretty dope.....But,ppl were tellin me "i need to up my vocab" wen i thought,fuck my vocabs aight......but believe bro.....cuz i saw the diffirence.....peace...

yo....check my shit out..... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=62756

You Had a Killa Concept, Don't Think Anyone Has Done A Piece On Hiroshima Before, Although Don't Put All The Rhyming Words LIKE THIS, You Know!

The Flow Was Aight, But Was A Little Choppy In Some PLaces, You tried To Put Multis in: Up in the sky I can see THE BLACK RAIN FALLING
It’s burning my eyes I can hear the OTHER SIDE CALLING, Which Helped The Flow Alot!

Expand Your Vocab, It Was A Little Too Basic, Some People Say That EXpanded Vocab Is Confusing, But To Me It Shows That You Spent Time On The piece, NOt Just Using 3 Letter Words, You KNow?
[/B][/QUOTE]

this pretty much explained everything, nothing else much needed to say.
The topic was one of the most unusual...even though alot more unusual ones came by. The vocab does need work but other than that, this was a good piece.
peep my piece with Rythmic Tendicies called 110% Raw Remix

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

that imagery summed up in one word= **puts on keanu reeves voice** woah

the originality, stunning. well worth the read man, always coming with something a little bit different.

show the newbies how to do it.