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Corruption
IP:
To much corruption in the world today/
everyone thinking it's a game to play/ through your dismay and all your perception/ all your gonna learn is a life long lesson/ pressing so hard to make you all learn/ everything keeps going, and you'll all burn/ here we go, your stomach starts churning/ now it's time to make urself an earning/ during the time you learn on your own/ seeing this world isn't like home/ seeing the deals happen on the streets/ these piggies making ends meat/ This worlds shot, don't ask why/ just worry bout yourself and try not to die |
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..Soft Focus..
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IP:
uuumm...SUPER SHORT lol, but for a newbie it was iight, you gotta elavate though....try an make summin bigger more complex...t had meaning but you can do better...juz keep trying peace
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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Guest
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IP:
Dawg as he said a good attempt for a new kat,yo try and use relevant wordplay and some nice vocab,maybe throw in a multi or two,it did flow and i did know what the message was here,as i said it was a descent attempt for a new dawg,jus keep it up and try and improve.
Hit me up. Peace |
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Just call me your Savior
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IP:
same...super short and simple, thought it needed work but it DID flow and WAS easy to read...nice attempt, hit ur head on a cloud, naomean???...
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