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Guest
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class presentation
IP:
creatin a class presentation
listen up cuz it a great lyrical demonstration the flow is heavy like a girl menstration// punch lines constant never waitin cats is probably readin this and tryin 2 figurin out ways 2 start hatin'// go fuck yourself and keep masterbatin this i'll never get me any mass appeal like a priest coppin a feel or buyin a mitch n' ((nell)) if u forgot this was just a demonstration stay tuned for more lyrics to enter youre brain thru the computer screens radiation. 1 |
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Banned
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IP:
because your a newb most people here wont reply, or read it, but you have the rhyme all you need now is to elevate, meaning lyrics/vocab need to stepped up, and you actually could put a little more time into makin a rhyme
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Guest
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IP:
yea i feel u cuz i wrote this while i was surfin tryin 2 figure out what 2 do 4 a class presentation
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Just call me your Savior
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IP:
ha ha, interesting topic for a flow if i do say so myself, chuckle chuckle choke, ha ha...
anywayz, u REALLY gotta step up wit something more advanced, i know lil kids who write poems that flow betta than this did, (harsh i know...), but if u actually took some time out to write somethin, u could make it really good, jus keep droppin and add peeps advice, u'll elevate...
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Banned for Stupidity
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IP:
Well - the topic is original, someone could take it and run with it..
But for your sake, work on flow, even out syllables, and work out a nice structure. Your vocab is decent already, but can still be ironed out a little bit. Try to get more complex with your lyrics. Don't worry, it'll come. Elevate and have fun. |
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Guest
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IP:
thanx yall
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